Back to reality... It's painful to deal with it.. Wish I could see this coming and could do something about it.. I wish I put in more effort. I wish I tried harder. I wish I took things more seriously. ANd now, its way too late for regrets.. sigh.. My only consolation? To have him my my side in my darkest hour. This time, I fell hard. And I must learn.. And I can't even say I tried my best to console myself. I feel like I've let everyone down. I wish I saw this coming.. I wish I tried..

Yesterday was the worse day in my life. May that be the worse ever and nothing of that sort would ever happen again. Night ebfore, had high fever. Though I was having a nightmare and ignored it. Next early morning, I felt thirsty and decided to get up real quick to get a mug of water. Felt faint and decided to hurried back to my room before I pass out. Then midway, when I walked past my door, I collapsed and thought I fell something hard hit my forehead. Passed out and was roused by my traumatised brother. Haha. Was lying in the spill ( Thank goodness it was just water ) and realised that hard thing that konked my head was my mug. Was helped up quickly by my brother and went back to sleep. Dad came back for a bit to check on me and I think I traumatised my brother too much that he went to work, take leave and came back home to watch over me. Haha. He's sweet. My kor kor! Slept all afternoon. Cancelled tuition. Thankful to be able to see Andy later in the evening. SOmehow, with him, I forget my troubles and am able to find peace. I wish I could be near him always. I feel terrible..

Fever came back to visit me again. *sigh* I'm feeling nauseous, crappy, upset and sick.

I'm off. Need to rest. Sigh. Have a good day all. Hugs. Love you dearie.