Been pretty tired out from work lately even though I'm basically doing nothing. It's a tough job letting my didi bully ok! Now I am physically, mentally scarred thanks to all his beatngs, pinching, slapping, molesting etc. Haha. Spending quite a lot of time with the boys after work as well. Nicest thing is that they come and visit us all the time. So it's pretty fun!
Only shitty thing is both Leon and I are sick. But being a wonderful jie jie, I let him take a few hrs nap while I slog my ass (Slack and read actually :P) at work. I am so nice. Haha.
Weekend was great! Went Mdm Wong with Yan, her friend, Char, Alice, Caiwen and some of their friends. Damn funny, Yan was pretty much gone by the time we left. Silly girl! Haha.
Been drinking on a regular basis now so I'm pretty much living an adult's life (?)
Still PMSing. Still very moody. A little pissy. Times like these, I just wanna try smoking. Ridiculously curious when I am PMSing. Sucks. Just sick of being nice, being decent, being what everyone expects me to be. Good girls finish fucking last, don't you feel? Leon's been calling me a slut. Haha. Might as well be one right.
Moody! Need to lose some weight. Darnest.
Sometimes, I wonder
If given another chance
Would you fucking cheat on me,
like you did.
Or would you have stayed?
Would you have recklessly destroyed everything we worked hard for?
Or would we take a next step forward and be happier?
What exactly is love?
Love blinds.
When I look back, what wonder why didn't I see the tell tale signs right from the beginning.
When you gave me a choice of two evils.
Why would I have put more effort, put more love, put more sacrifice, put more patience, for a person like you.
Why?
The day you used the word 'beg' on me, I wished I had thrown it back in your face, on how you begged me numerous times as well. Why did I swallow that humiliation, bit my tongue and let that word slide into my mind and slice my heart? Why did you use that word on me when I have never used it on you. Is pride so important to always put yourself above me? Why did I always make it so easy for you, even right to the end? I swallowed every bit of my pride to fill yours. The last moments we spent together, was awfully painful. So much harm was done, so much tears were shed, but I guess you didn't know cause all you could think was yourself. You didn't care about the consequences. It was for me to bear afterall. Those moments are the ones that will forever haunt me, frighten me, and scar me. And I hate you for them. And I hate myself more for allowing you to harm me like that. Why did you do that to me when you said you still cared. I am not an animal.
Sometimes, I wonder if you regretted. If you ever would regret this.
But I guess you are right, maybe you aren't good enough to deserve me.
In the end, the only one you love most, is yourself.
Fucked up mood.
On a totally different page, holaaaaa that cutie smokes. I wonder how old is he. He looks, really really reaaaally young. Saw him holding a pack today. Damn, wished I were smoking too, then can go stand with him at the bin to socialise. AHAHAHA. But good thing, I caught him looking at me when me passed me! Yaayyiest. I bet hes like 19. Ya I know he's young (I think) but what to do. Damn bored at work. Made a few friends with the guys there yesterday but two of them are at a roadshow. So too damn bored and he's like the cutest within sight, so that will do for the moment.
Sian.. I am going crazy. Sucks. P come soon please!
And, Xmas is coming! Gonna be my first Xmas as a single in like 2 yrs and yippeee!! Gonna spend it with the boys. Getting awfully wasted of course :) Suppose to go club with Christina and co but I sacrifice ok! Cause I love my boys more! (Forced into it. Haha)
Sian, wanna club soon. Having withdrawal symptoms again. Ahhhhh. Sucks la
Fuck. Wanna dance, wanna drink, wanna break free.
Xmas come soon leh.
And one last thing. HAPPY THING. Tween's home! That bugger came back with a Second Upper! WELCOME HOME "LAOGONG"!! AHAHAHA. My future husband *Wink* Proud of you kiddo! :) Welcome back. We missed you dearly :) Xmas fix me a flaming lambo, your that pink pussy (HAHAHA) dunno what fuck-blah, and all your revolting sounding drinks ah! :)
Only shitty thing is both Leon and I are sick. But being a wonderful jie jie, I let him take a few hrs nap while I slog my ass (Slack and read actually :P) at work. I am so nice. Haha.
Weekend was great! Went Mdm Wong with Yan, her friend, Char, Alice, Caiwen and some of their friends. Damn funny, Yan was pretty much gone by the time we left. Silly girl! Haha.
Been drinking on a regular basis now so I'm pretty much living an adult's life (?)
Still PMSing. Still very moody. A little pissy. Times like these, I just wanna try smoking. Ridiculously curious when I am PMSing. Sucks. Just sick of being nice, being decent, being what everyone expects me to be. Good girls finish fucking last, don't you feel? Leon's been calling me a slut. Haha. Might as well be one right.
Moody! Need to lose some weight. Darnest.
Sometimes, I wonder
If given another chance
Would you fucking cheat on me,
like you did.
Or would you have stayed?
Would you have recklessly destroyed everything we worked hard for?
Or would we take a next step forward and be happier?
What exactly is love?
Love blinds.
When I look back, what wonder why didn't I see the tell tale signs right from the beginning.
When you gave me a choice of two evils.
Why would I have put more effort, put more love, put more sacrifice, put more patience, for a person like you.
Why?
The day you used the word 'beg' on me, I wished I had thrown it back in your face, on how you begged me numerous times as well. Why did I swallow that humiliation, bit my tongue and let that word slide into my mind and slice my heart? Why did you use that word on me when I have never used it on you. Is pride so important to always put yourself above me? Why did I always make it so easy for you, even right to the end? I swallowed every bit of my pride to fill yours. The last moments we spent together, was awfully painful. So much harm was done, so much tears were shed, but I guess you didn't know cause all you could think was yourself. You didn't care about the consequences. It was for me to bear afterall. Those moments are the ones that will forever haunt me, frighten me, and scar me. And I hate you for them. And I hate myself more for allowing you to harm me like that. Why did you do that to me when you said you still cared. I am not an animal.
Sometimes, I wonder if you regretted. If you ever would regret this.
But I guess you are right, maybe you aren't good enough to deserve me.
In the end, the only one you love most, is yourself.
Fucked up mood.
On a totally different page, holaaaaa that cutie smokes. I wonder how old is he. He looks, really really reaaaally young. Saw him holding a pack today. Damn, wished I were smoking too, then can go stand with him at the bin to socialise. AHAHAHA. But good thing, I caught him looking at me when me passed me! Yaayyiest. I bet hes like 19. Ya I know he's young (I think) but what to do. Damn bored at work. Made a few friends with the guys there yesterday but two of them are at a roadshow. So too damn bored and he's like the cutest within sight, so that will do for the moment.
Sian.. I am going crazy. Sucks. P come soon please!
And, Xmas is coming! Gonna be my first Xmas as a single in like 2 yrs and yippeee!! Gonna spend it with the boys. Getting awfully wasted of course :) Suppose to go club with Christina and co but I sacrifice ok! Cause I love my boys more! (Forced into it. Haha)
Sian, wanna club soon. Having withdrawal symptoms again. Ahhhhh. Sucks la
Fuck. Wanna dance, wanna drink, wanna break free.
Xmas come soon leh.
And one last thing. HAPPY THING. Tween's home! That bugger came back with a Second Upper! WELCOME HOME "LAOGONG"!! AHAHAHA. My future husband *Wink* Proud of you kiddo! :) Welcome back. We missed you dearly :) Xmas fix me a flaming lambo, your that pink pussy (HAHAHA) dunno what fuck-blah, and all your revolting sounding drinks ah! :)
