11.30 pm. Bedtime soon. Yawn. A little sleepy. Just finished binding my MM notes. Not bad. Neat and tidy now. I love it when things are in perfect order. Haha. I am a freak.
MM today was boring. The lecturer's a scottish and his accent muffled his entire lecture. Him being that softspoken didn't help either. Cindy concluded that he's a bad lecturer. Haha. MM is A-level's maths all over again. Nightmare for the both of us.
Sometimes I wonder if it is too late to know the meaning of 'regret'. I wonder if there's any use of me regretted not trying harder during my JC days and subsequent years. If I have fallen into the comfort zone where nothing will take me down. In my brother's words, mediocrity. Everything I have done in the past few years in terms of school have been mediocre as a result of a lack of hardwork and effort. It was so apparent. I cannot believe my ears when my brother told me that. Not that it wasn't true. Just that it really hit me hard this time around. Not that I am still 'mourning' over the loss of my marks. Just that I hope that whatever salvaging I can do to control the damage inflicted on my future would prove to be fruitful.
I realise that I do not wish to be just that average person, doing that average job. I dont want to work and kill my brain cells due to the lack of usage. I want to be useful, to be successful and strong. I want to strive, and to be outstanding. I want to be proud of myself.
I am excited by the prospect of working hard. Frankly speaking, I have never worked hard in my entire life. Somehow, I was always lucky. Covering the bare minimum for syllabuses, sometimes not even completing it, and yet, manage to pass my subjects with decent enough grades to make people think I studied rather hard for it. I'm ashamed to admit this but each time they say that, I feel guilty, because I know I didn't try as hard as I should have. And this time, I realise it's time to put and end to all these and change my lifestyle. I want to be officially known as a nerd. Haha.
WIll be having esap tomorrow. Applied psychology. Looking forward to it, besides the waking up early part that is. Okies, bedtime before I rattle on too much and act cranky tomorrow cause I was too busy blogging to sleep. Good night everyone! Hugs. Muacks dearie!
MM today was boring. The lecturer's a scottish and his accent muffled his entire lecture. Him being that softspoken didn't help either. Cindy concluded that he's a bad lecturer. Haha. MM is A-level's maths all over again. Nightmare for the both of us.
Sometimes I wonder if it is too late to know the meaning of 'regret'. I wonder if there's any use of me regretted not trying harder during my JC days and subsequent years. If I have fallen into the comfort zone where nothing will take me down. In my brother's words, mediocrity. Everything I have done in the past few years in terms of school have been mediocre as a result of a lack of hardwork and effort. It was so apparent. I cannot believe my ears when my brother told me that. Not that it wasn't true. Just that it really hit me hard this time around. Not that I am still 'mourning' over the loss of my marks. Just that I hope that whatever salvaging I can do to control the damage inflicted on my future would prove to be fruitful.
I realise that I do not wish to be just that average person, doing that average job. I dont want to work and kill my brain cells due to the lack of usage. I want to be useful, to be successful and strong. I want to strive, and to be outstanding. I want to be proud of myself.
I am excited by the prospect of working hard. Frankly speaking, I have never worked hard in my entire life. Somehow, I was always lucky. Covering the bare minimum for syllabuses, sometimes not even completing it, and yet, manage to pass my subjects with decent enough grades to make people think I studied rather hard for it. I'm ashamed to admit this but each time they say that, I feel guilty, because I know I didn't try as hard as I should have. And this time, I realise it's time to put and end to all these and change my lifestyle. I want to be officially known as a nerd. Haha.
WIll be having esap tomorrow. Applied psychology. Looking forward to it, besides the waking up early part that is. Okies, bedtime before I rattle on too much and act cranky tomorrow cause I was too busy blogging to sleep. Good night everyone! Hugs. Muacks dearie!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home