Rants.
First of all, this is a rantpost. So it's nothing interesting and I'm sorry ><
To continue my rants.
Dearest friend, you mean lots to me. Are you even aware of that fact? And dearest friend, I wonder where I stand in your world. Tolerance is really not a sign of weakness but the amount of respect and love I have towards you. And yes, you are THAT important. But apparently, I don't seem to be that important to you. You don't seem to be the least bit apologetic for the mistakes you have done. I am not one to insist on an apology. All I ask for is a little less mindgames and a little more sincerity. Is that too much to ask? Need I ever ask for them in the first place? Is this how you are when u take on a different avatar? Is that who you really are inside of you? Where is the person I've always loved, admired and respected? That gentle, nice, sweet person? Or is that just a facade? Which is the real you? I cannot reconcile. I really can't.
Mind games. One thing I detest most. Mind games are kept for people you dislike. So why are you playing them with me? Please note that I am not entirely stupid. I may not be the smartest person you know, but please do know that I am not entirely dumb either. I keep quiet about many things not because I do not know what you are up to or what is going on. I keep quiet because I know too well and more importantly, because of your importance to me. Acting dumb doesn't mean I am dumb. I respect you, I cherish you, and therefore I do not wish to bruise your ego or humiliate you. This is my way of preserving your ego. I do not ask of anything in return. But could you at least reflect on your own actions instead of pinpointing others? You did wrong in the first place, so why can't you humble yourself instead of putting that fault on another's back? It is a low blow and definitely not expected from a person I deeply cherish. Please do play mindgames. I hate it. I detest it.
Mindgames from people I cherish forces me to act dumb. It's a terrible feeling. Not that I hate feeling dumb because I think I'm fabulous at it. It's how dumb you look as I pretend not to know that makes it awfully painful. It hurts because the person I play dumb to looks absolutely stupid. It hurts because the other party means something to me. Sure, for those parties involved, it might boost ur ego for the rest of your ignorant lives, but have you ever wondered how stupid you really look to everyone except yourself? I remember the day I traded a wee bit of ignorance pretense for some hard facts. The look on that face was priceless. Stupidity really bears no bounds. I am no ego monster. Which is often why I like acting stupid. I don't care if you are too eager to look smart. I don't care you need an ego boost. that's what I am here for. I may not be good at many things. But one thing I've learnt well is to make a man feel like a man. To make him feel superior? No problem. To make him feel like he has the greatest face/bod in the world? No problem. To make him feel fucking smart and wise? No problem. Just smile sweetly, shut my trap and rub him the right way. Does it make you FEEL any better? Yes of course. Does it MAKE you any better? In your dreams. I lose nothing. I am a very lazy person. Nodding quietly, making you like a million bucks work well for me. I don't have to argue senselessly with you, you feel happy, you leave me alone, I feel happy.
So back to my dearest friend. Maybe I should carry on another day. Went to game and lost my train of thought. Maybe I'll write tomorrow. Night night. /sigh.
First of all, this is a rantpost. So it's nothing interesting and I'm sorry ><
To continue my rants.
Dearest friend, you mean lots to me. Are you even aware of that fact? And dearest friend, I wonder where I stand in your world. Tolerance is really not a sign of weakness but the amount of respect and love I have towards you. And yes, you are THAT important. But apparently, I don't seem to be that important to you. You don't seem to be the least bit apologetic for the mistakes you have done. I am not one to insist on an apology. All I ask for is a little less mindgames and a little more sincerity. Is that too much to ask? Need I ever ask for them in the first place? Is this how you are when u take on a different avatar? Is that who you really are inside of you? Where is the person I've always loved, admired and respected? That gentle, nice, sweet person? Or is that just a facade? Which is the real you? I cannot reconcile. I really can't.
Mind games. One thing I detest most. Mind games are kept for people you dislike. So why are you playing them with me? Please note that I am not entirely stupid. I may not be the smartest person you know, but please do know that I am not entirely dumb either. I keep quiet about many things not because I do not know what you are up to or what is going on. I keep quiet because I know too well and more importantly, because of your importance to me. Acting dumb doesn't mean I am dumb. I respect you, I cherish you, and therefore I do not wish to bruise your ego or humiliate you. This is my way of preserving your ego. I do not ask of anything in return. But could you at least reflect on your own actions instead of pinpointing others? You did wrong in the first place, so why can't you humble yourself instead of putting that fault on another's back? It is a low blow and definitely not expected from a person I deeply cherish. Please do play mindgames. I hate it. I detest it.
Mindgames from people I cherish forces me to act dumb. It's a terrible feeling. Not that I hate feeling dumb because I think I'm fabulous at it. It's how dumb you look as I pretend not to know that makes it awfully painful. It hurts because the person I play dumb to looks absolutely stupid. It hurts because the other party means something to me. Sure, for those parties involved, it might boost ur ego for the rest of your ignorant lives, but have you ever wondered how stupid you really look to everyone except yourself? I remember the day I traded a wee bit of ignorance pretense for some hard facts. The look on that face was priceless. Stupidity really bears no bounds. I am no ego monster. Which is often why I like acting stupid. I don't care if you are too eager to look smart. I don't care you need an ego boost. that's what I am here for. I may not be good at many things. But one thing I've learnt well is to make a man feel like a man. To make him feel superior? No problem. To make him feel like he has the greatest face/bod in the world? No problem. To make him feel fucking smart and wise? No problem. Just smile sweetly, shut my trap and rub him the right way. Does it make you FEEL any better? Yes of course. Does it MAKE you any better? In your dreams. I lose nothing. I am a very lazy person. Nodding quietly, making you like a million bucks work well for me. I don't have to argue senselessly with you, you feel happy, you leave me alone, I feel happy.
So back to my dearest friend. Maybe I should carry on another day. Went to game and lost my train of thought. Maybe I'll write tomorrow. Night night. /sigh.
