Blah. My blog is a little screwed at this point in time. Got a little problem with adjusting the correct width of my tagboard. Somehow got it adjusted during the preview but the real thing looks different. Oh well. WIll hold that off until my genius fix it for me.
Just got home. Had a rather nice day. Afternoon wasn't that great. Brought in a lot of questions that will eventually resurface over and over again. Bad time actually. Had a very rough week. Really need less conflicts. Luckily was already tired out from the week and therefore, the fire in me had longer been snuffed out. Thank goodness for that. Else, all hell would break loose once again, I assure you. Want to buy tranquility and peace! Luckily things worked out. Another 2 more months before my exams are over. Praying hard that things will be fine and peaceful till then. Getting weary and tired and fearful. Have been jumpy lately. Am starting to doubt myself, especially after a certain conversation. What makes people happy. And what satisfies people. Perhaps I have always assumed too much. Perhaps, I try too hard. Perhaps perhaps. But perhaps, I should first start liking myself and believing in myself. Becoming increasingly jaded. Lots of things I no longer comprehend nor understand. Every waking moment has become a question of am I doing things right. Am I making someone else happy. Am I making myself happy. Am I doing what I love or is it because I have to. I've grown tired of this. I yearn for someone to show me the way. I yearn to be given the space to breathe and think. I yearn for myself. Sometimes, I just don't know myself anymore. I forgot who I was, and no longer knows who I want to be. I just need someone to hold and support me through. Confused little lamb. I realise that people cannot ahve the best of both worlds. If you want A, be prepared to give up B. But what happens if I want both? Does it mean I'm selfish? Or is it simply an indication that I am incapable to getting both? I wish I had the ability to cope with everything. I don't want to take a year or two to learn. I no longer have the time.
Met Andy later in the evening. Had a nice dinner with his friends at Seoul Garden. My precious was sweet enough to give all 8 of us a treat. Muacks. Sorry bunny, forgot my wallet. Felt really bad. Dinner started only at like 9 plus cause we were waiting for a table that will seat all of us. Ate till almost 11. Haha. Bloated. Went to catch Gospel of John after that with them. They are mostly Christians so I guess the idea was fine with them. I didn't mind it as well. Afterall, it was part of the bible of the big screen. Would help with my understanding. It's a very long show man. Almost 3 hours. Caught the midnight one so basically it ended at about 3 am. I would say it was a pretty nice show but in a sad way. Was touched at a few instances and cried when Jesus was crucified. I cannot imagine how cruel people can be when they are ignorant. And how the high priests themselves committed such a sin against their Lord. I bet they are already burning in hell now. Passion of Christ will be out soon, all of them are like waiting for it LoL. Oh well. Hopefully its not that sad. Could really feel it when he was crucifixed and when they broke the legs of the other 2 fellows. Ouch..
Alrightly.. feeling sleepy now. Learnt quite a bit of things today and glad some things did work out after all. We all grow and learn. Do hope that thngs will get better soon. Had enough of the crappy stuff this week. Am almost drained mentally. Need good stuff happening soon. I need to get some studying done. Did almost zero studying with all the planning and activities this week. Sigh. God bless.
Night everyone. Love you precious! Muacks. I speak the truth! :P
Just got home. Had a rather nice day. Afternoon wasn't that great. Brought in a lot of questions that will eventually resurface over and over again. Bad time actually. Had a very rough week. Really need less conflicts. Luckily was already tired out from the week and therefore, the fire in me had longer been snuffed out. Thank goodness for that. Else, all hell would break loose once again, I assure you. Want to buy tranquility and peace! Luckily things worked out. Another 2 more months before my exams are over. Praying hard that things will be fine and peaceful till then. Getting weary and tired and fearful. Have been jumpy lately. Am starting to doubt myself, especially after a certain conversation. What makes people happy. And what satisfies people. Perhaps I have always assumed too much. Perhaps, I try too hard. Perhaps perhaps. But perhaps, I should first start liking myself and believing in myself. Becoming increasingly jaded. Lots of things I no longer comprehend nor understand. Every waking moment has become a question of am I doing things right. Am I making someone else happy. Am I making myself happy. Am I doing what I love or is it because I have to. I've grown tired of this. I yearn for someone to show me the way. I yearn to be given the space to breathe and think. I yearn for myself. Sometimes, I just don't know myself anymore. I forgot who I was, and no longer knows who I want to be. I just need someone to hold and support me through. Confused little lamb. I realise that people cannot ahve the best of both worlds. If you want A, be prepared to give up B. But what happens if I want both? Does it mean I'm selfish? Or is it simply an indication that I am incapable to getting both? I wish I had the ability to cope with everything. I don't want to take a year or two to learn. I no longer have the time.
Met Andy later in the evening. Had a nice dinner with his friends at Seoul Garden. My precious was sweet enough to give all 8 of us a treat. Muacks. Sorry bunny, forgot my wallet. Felt really bad. Dinner started only at like 9 plus cause we were waiting for a table that will seat all of us. Ate till almost 11. Haha. Bloated. Went to catch Gospel of John after that with them. They are mostly Christians so I guess the idea was fine with them. I didn't mind it as well. Afterall, it was part of the bible of the big screen. Would help with my understanding. It's a very long show man. Almost 3 hours. Caught the midnight one so basically it ended at about 3 am. I would say it was a pretty nice show but in a sad way. Was touched at a few instances and cried when Jesus was crucified. I cannot imagine how cruel people can be when they are ignorant. And how the high priests themselves committed such a sin against their Lord. I bet they are already burning in hell now. Passion of Christ will be out soon, all of them are like waiting for it LoL. Oh well. Hopefully its not that sad. Could really feel it when he was crucifixed and when they broke the legs of the other 2 fellows. Ouch..
Alrightly.. feeling sleepy now. Learnt quite a bit of things today and glad some things did work out after all. We all grow and learn. Do hope that thngs will get better soon. Had enough of the crappy stuff this week. Am almost drained mentally. Need good stuff happening soon. I need to get some studying done. Did almost zero studying with all the planning and activities this week. Sigh. God bless.
Night everyone. Love you precious! Muacks. I speak the truth! :P
