Love and power struggles in a relationship
All couples go from romantic love to a less infatuated stage. Romantic love is supposed to end and it does end in a power struggle within the relationship. The relationship moves from romantic illusion to disillusionment and the onset of a power struggle.
Anne N. Walther, M.S., in her book Divorce Hangover writes that most love relationships come apart because there is an imbalance or misuse of power. She lists power points as:
religion
children,
time,
sex,
the home arena,
social life,
personal habits,
privacy,
finances, finances.
Bob Carver, Psychotherapist in Dallas, Texas, told CyberParent that control and power is an important part of any relationship. As an example, he said a person who will only consider a relationship with a younger person (will not date his/her age or older) is usually conducting a search for power, albeit probably an unconscious search for power and control.
The power struggle is not supposed to last. It is a way station on the way to real love. Many relationships stall in the power struggle, however. Some couples stay in the relationship and continue to struggle. Many others leave the power struggle to go on to another relationship.
All couples go from romantic love to a less infatuated stage. Romantic love is supposed to end and it does end in a power struggle within the relationship. The relationship moves from romantic illusion to disillusionment and the onset of a power struggle.
Anne N. Walther, M.S., in her book Divorce Hangover writes that most love relationships come apart because there is an imbalance or misuse of power. She lists power points as:
religion
children,
time,
sex,
the home arena,
social life,
personal habits,
privacy,
finances, finances.
Bob Carver, Psychotherapist in Dallas, Texas, told CyberParent that control and power is an important part of any relationship. As an example, he said a person who will only consider a relationship with a younger person (will not date his/her age or older) is usually conducting a search for power, albeit probably an unconscious search for power and control.
The power struggle is not supposed to last. It is a way station on the way to real love. Many relationships stall in the power struggle, however. Some couples stay in the relationship and continue to struggle. Many others leave the power struggle to go on to another relationship.
