Wedding bells are ringing
Not mine of course! Haha. :) It's my beautiful cousin's!
Walking down the aisle, saying I Do, looking magnificent, receiving the blessings of your loved ones. Blissful. :) I am so happy for her! At 28, great career, wonderful fiance, wedding on the way, so envious!
Makes me feel like I should too catch up! 5 years for me and I'll be 28. What will I be at 28? Will I have a job and a career that I love? Will I be engaged as well? Will I be married? Or maybe will I already be married with a baby on the way?
Feeling very stressed up now actually. She asked me about my career options. And closed, with my mum backing her up forcefully, the option of me wanting to try out a PA path. "The first two jobs are important, start on the wrong footing and you lose a headstart. Do not let prospective employers give you a reason to turn you down when they find out that you tried a different jobscope altogether. Experience is everything. Try something different and you may lose out that first few years."
Guess what, I don't know what I want. Majority of my older female cousins are in the banking line. Coincidentally, my path is suppose to go down that way as well. Afterall I studied banking and finance didn't I? Everyone is assuming that is the path I am sure I will take. But to be honest, I don't know what I want. I don't know what is it that I feel most confident doing. I am afraid that I can't do well in what I am supposed to do. I hate the taste of failure. Do it once and do it right is what I'd rather do. It's a huge step and I am somehow afraid to take it.
Maybe am just lazy and maybe I am afraid to try. I'm 23, I feel old already. I am starting to worry ALOT about my own future. I feel disgustingly weak and pampered. I feel like maybe whatever I do, at the end of the day if it's too hard, I'll throw in the towel again.
Maybe I should give myself till the end of this year to just think hard. And by year end, should I not figure out what I wanna do, I would take that conventional line everyone expects me to. Deep inside me, I wish to be a banker. Afterall that's what I did in school. But I am so afraid I can't succeed. Very very afraid. Sigh. But I guess it's time to do something about it. Come 2006, I would be twenty freaking four. Pathetic if I still don't build a career! Perhaps like what my cousin suggest I should start off with doing some sales and familiarise myself with the various banking products first. Argh ><
One and a half months. this is as much as I can give myself to enjoy and live whatever life I wanna live. Come jan, I better get my ass doing what I am expected to do. Shit!
But then again, maybe like what Winnie said before.. Maybe tsunami would hit us by then leh? Then all die, no need to worry. Hahahahahaa!
Enough about my future. Sigh the more I talk about it the more fearful I become. Haha.
Friday was out with someone. Hope he's feeling OK now. Saturday was spent with family. And my brother and I drank last night! Shiok! Was productive in game as well. Binged on wine and chips after my brother and I finished XPing in game :D And this time, I didn't get high. Haha. Was so sleepy and tired (Had a latte on friday that lasted me from 4pm till past 4 am ><><) so went to bed after a few glasses. Which reminded me again, for as long as I can remember, I have been drinking every single week without fail! Oh my gosh. Haha. Merry making makes you forget all the awful stuff. But no worries though. I drink in *moderation*.
Itchy legs again! Babe, faster pia and finish ur exams leh >< Hahahahaha. Itching to boogie! I need to create an opportunity. Hehehehe :P Wasted one that night, still pounding my chest over it! Hahaha. :P
Ok, more maybe tonight. I am bored.
Not mine of course! Haha. :) It's my beautiful cousin's!
Walking down the aisle, saying I Do, looking magnificent, receiving the blessings of your loved ones. Blissful. :) I am so happy for her! At 28, great career, wonderful fiance, wedding on the way, so envious!
Makes me feel like I should too catch up! 5 years for me and I'll be 28. What will I be at 28? Will I have a job and a career that I love? Will I be engaged as well? Will I be married? Or maybe will I already be married with a baby on the way?
Feeling very stressed up now actually. She asked me about my career options. And closed, with my mum backing her up forcefully, the option of me wanting to try out a PA path. "The first two jobs are important, start on the wrong footing and you lose a headstart. Do not let prospective employers give you a reason to turn you down when they find out that you tried a different jobscope altogether. Experience is everything. Try something different and you may lose out that first few years."
Guess what, I don't know what I want. Majority of my older female cousins are in the banking line. Coincidentally, my path is suppose to go down that way as well. Afterall I studied banking and finance didn't I? Everyone is assuming that is the path I am sure I will take. But to be honest, I don't know what I want. I don't know what is it that I feel most confident doing. I am afraid that I can't do well in what I am supposed to do. I hate the taste of failure. Do it once and do it right is what I'd rather do. It's a huge step and I am somehow afraid to take it.
Maybe am just lazy and maybe I am afraid to try. I'm 23, I feel old already. I am starting to worry ALOT about my own future. I feel disgustingly weak and pampered. I feel like maybe whatever I do, at the end of the day if it's too hard, I'll throw in the towel again.
Maybe I should give myself till the end of this year to just think hard. And by year end, should I not figure out what I wanna do, I would take that conventional line everyone expects me to. Deep inside me, I wish to be a banker. Afterall that's what I did in school. But I am so afraid I can't succeed. Very very afraid. Sigh. But I guess it's time to do something about it. Come 2006, I would be twenty freaking four. Pathetic if I still don't build a career! Perhaps like what my cousin suggest I should start off with doing some sales and familiarise myself with the various banking products first. Argh ><
One and a half months. this is as much as I can give myself to enjoy and live whatever life I wanna live. Come jan, I better get my ass doing what I am expected to do. Shit!
But then again, maybe like what Winnie said before.. Maybe tsunami would hit us by then leh? Then all die, no need to worry. Hahahahahaa!
Enough about my future. Sigh the more I talk about it the more fearful I become. Haha.
Friday was out with someone. Hope he's feeling OK now. Saturday was spent with family. And my brother and I drank last night! Shiok! Was productive in game as well. Binged on wine and chips after my brother and I finished XPing in game :D And this time, I didn't get high. Haha. Was so sleepy and tired (Had a latte on friday that lasted me from 4pm till past 4 am ><><) so went to bed after a few glasses. Which reminded me again, for as long as I can remember, I have been drinking every single week without fail! Oh my gosh. Haha. Merry making makes you forget all the awful stuff. But no worries though. I drink in *moderation*.
Itchy legs again! Babe, faster pia and finish ur exams leh >< Hahahahaha. Itching to boogie! I need to create an opportunity. Hehehehe :P Wasted one that night, still pounding my chest over it! Hahaha. :P
Ok, more maybe tonight. I am bored.
1 Comments:
hey babe,
I share your fears on this topic...the future. What future I don't know...And the pressure of getting a job, having a career, doing the right job. Sigh... You've just graduated. You've still got your chance. I have been floating ard for a year and I'm still floating. No achievements to speak of. Why does it seem so easy for others? Things just seem to fall in place for them. I HATE GROWING UP!
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princess, At
10:54 PM
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