The day it all fell apart. The day I stopped dead in my tracks. The day the shadow cast a darkness upon my mind.

Been nothing but a prideful fool. Caged at the crossroads.

Corrinne May - Journey
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm suppose to be
It's a long long journey
and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a ling long journey
till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong I know
I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
ANd I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understand
I dont even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
WIll you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath these stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
WIll I find my way home to you

Are humans rational by nature? Or are they taught logic? Somehow part of me believe that the reason why we are social creatures is so that the next person can exert rationality and logic on you, simply because we are incapable of perfecting it on ourselves.

A conversation with some people about some others I knew just made me wonder.. everyone passes judgements on another. Still waters run deep. Everyone has our needs and wants. But how expressive we are is a totally different story. Do we attempt to change them? Or do we attempt to accomodate and accept? For me, I choose to accept, especially if it's an intrinstic part of their personality. To love you, for who you are. To embrace your qualities and to celebrate your flaws. To accept and appreciate. I'm not a saint. I don't do such things because I'm perfect. I do them because I know that I am accepted for who I am. Although there are times that I am sorry for who I am at my ugliest. But still. those people chose to look beyond that facade and love me for who I am. So, who am I to judge? After talking to some of my friends today. I began to feel a deeper appreciate for these people in my life. I know there are things about myself that I dislike (first on list, control my temper and resist the urge to be out of character to force a reaction out of the other party!) and I will try.

I miss my friends. I miss my girls. I miss my boys. Guys, come home soon will you all?

We live in a little place called Earth.. it's actually not that huge.. it's our minds that make it so. Everything is fixed and calculated. Matrices, time, axis, everything. But our mind is in constant motion, constantly being moulded, constantly changing, constantly being affected by the things we see, hear, feel and believe it. The only thing that is complex is our minds. Makes the world complex. I dont know what I am typing actually. Maybe I am just PMSing badly.. Dunno.. Maybe I should get some sleep... Yea.. I should..

Life is shrouded by lies, no? You against the world. Will you yield?

...

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in it's time