Angel's wings

Monday, January 31, 2005

Hello! I am back! A big thank you to all those who smsed me asking if I were OK! I am! Was a little down previously, probably cause I didn't meet Andy much last week as we were both busy! Thanks a lot! Big hugs to you guys and girls! Really appreciate it! Feel loved! :) You peeps are great!

Last week was long and pretty dull. Andy's been extremely busy at work and at school. Had to even head back to work after school on thursday and stayed till 5 the next morning to complete his work at hand. So proud of you! Hugs! Headed over on friday after class to help him with his project. Quite fun! We did some art and craft! I looooove doing art and craft. Made a terrain for his border and all that. Hehehe so fun! Gonna go to the museum with him maybe the week after for his research paper. SOooooo fun! Damn, should have taken arts instead of finance. I would have so loved it :(

School's awful. Syllabus pretty much in its last few stages. So almighty stressed up.. Sigh. Still no momentum. Hope to do some work after lunch. At least sort my notes. All over the place. Annoying me like mad. Sigh.. Stresssss!

Gaming rocks, as always! I just hit 40! Actually no, I hit 41 this morning! And I've got myself a new pony in game! Wheee!!! So happpppy! He's 41 too but hasn't got his mount. We both saving up right now to buy him a mount! Mine's free haha. Comes with my character class! Hehe. Freebies for teh win! Okay, enough of gaming. Hahaha. I love WoW!!

Anyways I came across this article in today's Life of ST. Very interesting read, thought I'd share it with every one of you. Makes me think quite a bit. As much as I know for sure Andy is the guy for me and the feeling is mutual, I am not 100% confident of what holds for us in the future. But still, I am praying very hard that things will go the way we want it to be. The same goes out for u peeps!

Jan 31, 2005

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time
Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it

By Janice Wong

SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.

Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.

We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.

He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.

I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.

I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.

So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.

But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.
These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.


Sometimes I wonder if this were a dream. If so.. I never ever want to be woken up..


This was this morning. Something bizarre happened. I saw Winne's name in game! The girl lying down is that Winnie. I'm the person standing. That blue thing is my pet. Reminded me of what happened last night when Andy tried to be funny.. I laughed so hard... Hahaha... Posted by Hello


Hahaha! Winnie this is for you! Hugs! Carnion is Andy. Hahah. I am Angeldreams. That bear is you, cute a not! ;) Posted by Hello

Oh yeah.. Almost forgot.. My phone is broken.. Oh well, not really, just that the keypad isn't working well. Didn't have much luck at Nokia's last week. Either too crowded or they had a compnay dinner on the day I went down to fix it. Sucks. Sigh. I need my phone working again! Apparently, my friend, who is holding on to a 7250 (mine's 7250i) is having problme siwht her keypad as well! Same period somemore! Acks!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Sick. Barely slept last night. Tossed and turned. Hot and cold. Nightmares. I feel like crap. Eyes all dead and puffy now.. Don't even know why I am up this early..

Don't feel well, can't sleep.. Don't wanna close my eyes no more..

Sets the mood.. Tried too hard.. Don't even know why I bothered..

Gone to cry it off..

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Dear Self,

I am upset now. For some reason I have yet to comprehend. I am just upset. Disappointed. Sad. Feeling really moody and unwell. I am in need of a good cry. No shoulder to lean on though. No knight to save the damsel in distress either. Just a pathetic waste.


Dear Self,

I am not hearing the things I yearn to hear. In fact, I don't even know where and how to start. I don't even know what will make me smile and cheer with delight.


Dear Self,

For a split second, I disliked everything I saw, heard, felt and believed. Why am I feeling this way? Can you deliver the answer to me? Can you free me from this agony?


Dear Self,

Why am I afraid to ask? Why am I afraid of the consequence? Isn't there nothing to be worried now?


Dear Self,

Are am I jealous of something that doesn't exist? Why am I never secure? Why are there still tears to wake me at night? A battle is never lost until you decide to walk away from it. You try too hard. Let another worry instead. It's manifesting. Soon, you will be taking sole responsibility and you'll only grow weary.. Take a break.. take a break.. You have enough to worry about. Worry about your own problems before you worry about other's problems. Don't try to throw anything and everything upon your own shoulders and call it your own. It'll only break you. Others will find their own way of solving it or learn to find them a solution.


Dear Self,

Why am I mad right now?


Dear Self,

Why am I feeling hate towards myself right now..


Dear Self,

*You need a break... Get some sleep... * I'm tired.. I don't feel good..

Darn.. my post got fatal error.. Gotta retype..

Anyways, Happy 17th month Darling! Many many more to come! Thank you for loving me despite my flaws and quirks! Big huggies!!!

At the Beginning
we were strangers, starting out on a journey
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, i'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me i was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When i lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Knew there was somebody, somewhere
A new love in the dark
Now i know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Yeah

Life is a road that i wanna keep going on
Love is a river, i wanna keep going

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road that i wanna keep going
Love is a river, i wanna keep flowing
In the end i wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

No matter how down and small I feel sometimes, my entire universe lights up when you come close..

Monday, January 24, 2005

Oh ya.. almost forgot.. 11 Feb, friday, don't ask me out. I am not free.. Wanna send my didi off.. Sigh..

Haha.. Spoke to Winnie just now. Stresseddddd! Haha. We must jiayou girl! Such is life. Sigh..

Wonder if I would feel the same way two years from now..
Wonder if things would change..

Emo night.

Disillusioned. Oh baby, it's too good to be true. If there's an upside, there's bound to be an opposing downside, right? Nervous..

Andy started school last week. Gonna be another long week ahead of him. Looks like we won't be meeting much in the coming week, except for small walks from his office to his school. Proud of you sweetheart!

Gonna miss you so much..

Friday, January 21, 2005


Puppies at Chatuchak # 1 Retrievers Posted by Hello


Puppies at Chatuchak # 2 Posted by Hello


Puppies at Chatuchak # 3 Golden Retrievers Posted by Hello


Puppies at Chatuchak # 4 Husky! Posted by Hello


Puppies at Chatuchak # 5 Posted by Hello


Puppies at Chatuchak # 6 Posted by Hello


Outside this ice-skating ring. I lost to those two guys! Boo! Posted by Hello


The front door of Divana Spa. Super nice place! Expensive but worth it! Posted by Hello


The stuff that they use to rub all over us. Very very niccceeeee!!! Posted by Hello


Inside =D Posted by Hello


Outside the Divana Posted by Hello


View from outside Posted by Hello


Sooo nice.... Posted by Hello


At the spa =D Posted by Hello


[EFL] Posted by Hello


[EFL] Paiseh.. A bit X-rated Posted by Hello


[EFL] Posted by Hello


[EFL] Finally a clear one.. This girl is quite sweet too. Thier makeup a bit wayang though Posted by Hello


[EFL] Paiseh.. Most of these pics are blur.. Kept moving around. I got very bad photography skills.. Haha. The one on the right made Andy grope her boobs during the photo-taking session *shudder* She's very hiao. *shudder* Posted by Hello


[EFL] Blurry.. Lucky guy from the audience? Posted by Hello


[EFL] ANother good-looking one. But she has a very deep manly voice. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


[EFL] Another pretty one. Very sweet and innocent looking.  Posted by Hello


[EFL] Look at her butt! She went home with an angmoh in a Beemer after the show. Posted by Hello