AMusing. Quite addictive and bo liao. Haha :P Enjoy! Thanks korkorsaurus!

http://www.xinyubbs.net/UpLoadFile4/200451518273669448.swf

Morning... YAWN.. So tired. Looks like everyone has been sleepy! LoL. Oh man. I am so tired. Gonna try to study at home later. Boo. No time time. Dammit!

Yesterday was nice. POURREDDDD in the afternoon. Very exciting. Walked in the drizzle. Hid from the lightning and all. Went to AMK library later in the afternoon and studied for an hour plus before Andy came to pick me up. Haha, korkorsaurs saw me from the bus waiting by the road and messaged me! For a split second it felt like s detective movie! So exciting! So went to pick up zack as well and headed off to band practice with them. Aunty Shirley made me a packed dinner. Very nice. Yum! Hehe. She's so sweet!

Jamming session was quite interesting. Poor QY was sick :( I had to study a little. I like Belief(?). That Guitar part! Damn niceeee!!!! SO kewl! Like Abide In Me too. Woohoo! Haha. Bunny looks so cool with his pretty guitar. LoL. RoCksTarZ! lOl. Thought they sounded pretty tight last nite. Nice nice. Quite excited. They have lotsa stuff planned out for the plan. Gonna take part in some Sonicfest or dunno what and make a demo real soon at his Bro's place. Wee! Need a manager? QY and I can help! Wahahaha!

Had supper near the studio and sent me home afterwards. Surprising, I was pretty efficient despite the music, noise and all. Ha. Interesting. Sigh. PMS shit.

Yesterday was a good day. It was our 9th month! Woohoo! Went to school then went to watch Laws Of Attraction later in the night. Sneaked in lotsa food from Mos! Woo! Damn. Been eating too much. I need my menses to come quick to stop this. Growl.

I enjoyed the show. Pierce Brosnan is helluva attractive man. Julianna Moore is damn chio also. Good looking couple! Nice show. Romantic comedy. Very nice. Girls will identify with it. Awww..

ANyways, I realise I'm not sane when PMSing. Been watching some Jap drama previously relating to how potent jealousy can. Now, as I am PMSing, emotions run high and I can be jealous of the most irrelevant things or even worse, events conjured up by my own imagination. I got to stop that before I ruin everything I have. Sigh. Bleed please! Dammit.

Time to shower then head over to give tuition. Tired. Had a weird dream. Sigh. The quality of my sleep is getting from worse to erm, worser? Bad started million of days ago. Good dreams comes knocking once in a blue moon and bad ones come a plenty. Ok maybe not bad scary/weird dreams. But dreams in general. My brain works too hard for the wrong reasons. ANd when I need it to actually work, it sleeps. Sigh. This aint goood!

Dearie's house kept getting power trips. Sigh. Can't see him online. Not used to that. Sian. Got tuition later. Sian. No mood. Gonna go for his band practice later in the evening. Haven't been to one later, so I'm looking forward to it. Weee! Sian. Sian. Very moody. Sian. Argh, need to bleed! Need to feel normal!!!

I miss fen, I miss char, I miss Tween. Sigh. A few more months before I see them.. Ahhhh!

Love ya all! Muacks. Love ya bunny!

Oh yeah, girls, if you can, post up a rough date as to when you guys will be coming back home!

Happy 9th month Bunny!! Woohooo!!! Still going strong! Woopie! Actually I forgot. Didn't know it was the 25th till he called. *sheepish* But I forgot the day, not the date! I la foo joo!

Happy happy happy happy! Muacks all! Hungry. Been eating a hell lot. My menses are coming. Always makes me feel fat. Cause I eat so much. Bleah.

Time to shower. Just got home from school. Thank you dearie for accompanying me in school! Hugs!

Just had dinner, my boy's at J8 having dinner with his family so I guess it gives me time to reflect.

Past few weeks have been dreamy. Everything has been perfect. I have never felt as loved am I now. Andy has been treating me like a princess and I have absolutely zero complaints. He has shown immense patience and love and I adore him for it. I am happy. In fact, I am so happy I forgot about September.

His application results should be out soon. ANd I pray to God that he will stay by my side. That he will get into NTU and never leave my side. And lately, that issue has been pushed further and further back until I forgot it was actually present. Was too happy. Until yesterday when Zack mentioned it. Not that I minded but I guess that was a gentle reminder. Sweet korkorsaurus showed great faith by telling me he would stay. I pray for that. I can no longer imagine him half the globe away. Wishing him good morning when it's almost midnight. God, please help me. Please grant him entry into NTU. Please bless us with happiness always.

Surreal. Life seems surreal. Being with someone you love can take away pain, sorrow, worries and reality. I've never felt more at ease than now. In general that is. Don't know how it's gonna be like when things will no longer be the same. I don't think I can bear it. But part of me know I would have to if it happens. But I don't wish too. Is it a sign of vulnerability?

QY and Zack both mentioned Misery loves Company in their blogs. Very interesting. I guess there is a purpose to everything in life. How you choose a path, or how you choose to view certain issues at hand. How you live you life is entirely up to you. Things that you can ignore are best left ignored. Afterall, we have enough problems already. Why not do away with the excesses?

There are often things we love but we can't have. Maybe we still aren't strong enough to possess them. Maybe it isn't time. That you can't blame yourself of anyone. It's just a matter of time. And when you are ready, you will work miracles. Everyone will own a piece of heaven, it's just a matter of coming to it.

Do I have my own little piece of heaven? I believe I do. When I am with him. That is my little piece of heaven. I can only pray that that isn't a mirage, something my imagination cooked up. And I hope it's not a prank or a 'test' played by the mighty one up above.

I am glad most of my friends are happy now. And those who aren't I hope for them to find their little peace of heaven soon. They are most deserving of it. Perhaps then wasn't time yet. I am glad some of my closest friends have found their soulmates for whom they are committed to spending the rest of their lives with. It's a nice thought. To be present at a wedding of a friend you love. Giving them your blessings, and telling them how beautiful they look. I think it's sweet. BEEYAN and WINNIE! PLEASE TAKE THE HINT! :P I am really glad everything is on track! For we just need Fen back! SHe's been gone for like almost 2 years now. The weepy parting image still lingering in my head. But in a few months, she will be back! WOW! Time flies! Not that I am complaining :) Can't wait!

I'm 22 this year, and in a few years, I hope to be married and then 2 years after that, start a family. Lately, I have amused myself with the idea of marrying Andy then having his son, and I wonder how would the child speak. Would it be of an American accent? If he's bred locally, and speak like the little beng bengs in primary school, I am afraid Andy might pass out from anxiety. I was fooling around with the idea of email-spamming FoxTV for asking Simon Cowell to make British-accent language tapes so I can play it to my child every single day and prays he catch on the British accent. It sounds adorable! (Not that your accent isnt sexy dearie!). Else I'd have Andy coach him and he'll grow up to have an American accent. But wouldn't he be out of place in local schools? And would our child be Singaporean or American? It's funny. And amusing. I could even imagine my child bickering with the kids in school with perfect diction and an american accent. HAHAHAHA. Amusing.

Oh well, time for shower. Update later!

Thurdays was a good day!! First, It was BEEYAN's BIRTHDAY! Welcome to the 22 years old club! Then Jasmine Trias got kicked out the the competition. Woo Hoo. Double blessings! Muacks girl! Hope you had a great time!!!

Friday was ok. Tuition schedule was screwed, ended up waiting for nothing so headed over to Andy's kid's place instead to wait for him. Had intended to go to school but took the correct bus from the wrong direction and ended up at marina/suntec area instead. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. HAHAHA. So ended up walking around since it would take too much time to travel back to school. Went to Kenny Rogers. I had Mac and cheese and corn cravings. Satisfied! Caught SHrek 2 after that. Fantastic la! Love that show. It's damn damn damn funny! Enjoyed it a lot. Very short movie though. Think less than 1 hour 20 mins. BUT IT'S DAMN FUNNY LOR! Had a fantastic time as always. Went to gaybar (Gelare) and order their gay special ( Waffles ) Ok. Maybe not me, but him. He loves the waffles with icecream there. Hehe. I am ok with it. Dont crave for such things. Went home, DAoCed till late. Muacks.

Today was fantastic as well! Dragged my lazy ass out of bed and went to give tuition. Was really tired and my throat was drying out. Headed home for lunch after that and slacked around and gamed with him until it was time to go. Met Fu and Zack after that. Went for dinner at Spageddies at Tanglin mall. He order something that tasted yummy. Cheesy stuff while I order this interesting spag with pepper soft shell crab. Wah. I think they soaked the crab in wine before cooking it. A little weird at first but the taste caught on quickly. Was surprised I could finish most of it. No idea if it's psychological but I actually felt a little *high* after that. I am pathetic. Haha. The taste is quite strong.

Went to slack at Mac after that with game. Andy brought Sequence along so we played that till about close to midnight before heading home. Aww man! Fu was on a winning streak! Ha. Had a really good time. Too bad the rest werent there. Oh wells. Was funny la. Had fun! Muacks bUnny!

Okie. Gonna go do my before-bedtime stuff now. Hee. Had a happy day. I am contented :) Love ya all! Especially YOU!

Booo, top 3 results gonna be out tomorrow. It had better be Jasmine Trias. Else, it's not fair man.

Just finished watching the top 4 results show. Downloaded it. Gotta give it to Latoya man. She took it so graciously. She's the winner man.

Anyways, yesterday was great! Went to his place to wake him up and studied some. His parents invited me to dinner for Ethan's first month with their close friends so I tagged along. Haha. *thickskinned* Studied a wincy bit before that. Had dinner, tagged along with this bro's family and Andy took over the car. Baby's so cute! He was screaming in the car. Oh boy, that kid has huge lungs! He's really adorable! So cute! His fingers are really long as well! Haha. His parents were hoping he would grow up to become a drummer though. Haha. Really cute.

So went to meet fu, qy and zack after that. Hung out at swensens till quite late and they decided to head over to Andy's place to play. Haha. Quite fun. Played some games and gambled on the game "In Between". Haha. Won some money but the winnings went to Andy since it was his money I gambled with. Haha. So the both of us basically won most of their money. Haha. Bad bad :P Went home really late after sending all of them home. Was happy though :) Andy's a gem :) Spock snapped at me though :( Was pretty shocked and though I didn't tell anyone about it, I felt pretty hurt, not physical but more like emotional. Felt betrayed by Spock. I've always loved him and he bit me :( But Andy explained that it may be because I had the scent of another dog (Played with zack's dog before we went over) and therefore when I stroked Spock, it took him by surprise and therefore he snapped cause he too got a shock. Luckily they didn't bring Rusty over. Else, it would be eaten alive I believe. But Spock's really adorable. He came over after that incident and stayed close to me, with that kind of "I am so sorry" look on his face. He kept looking down and up at me again with those pitiful eyes. So cute. ANd nuzzled my legs for a bit. Haha. It's ok Spock, I forgive you.. I still love you! You're the cutest! Batman!!!

Today was bonked out. Woke up at 1, went to school later in the afternoon. Silly boy bought Macdonalds again. Haha. HE really can eat man! *Muacks* Studied some. He's so sweet :) No complaints, no grouses. Just full of encouragement and love! And he's mine! Wee! So happy! Thank you so much! *Hugs* He ate laksa again. Haha. He's so adorable when he eats laksa. Hehehehehhhee. Awww. :) So cute! \(^o^)/

Okie la, gonna get ready for bed soon. Hungry though. Hehe. His mum got me another piece of carrot cake again. Beginning to like the taste of it. Hehe. Ate a little, shall leave the rest for tomorrow :)

Night all. Hugs everyone! Muacks Bunny!

Maternity Joke

***

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last
time,breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.


The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, &
fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean & discard
only
the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?


Worries (my favourite)

1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up
the
baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.


Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you
can
go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some
juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need
it
or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby
Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home 5
times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number
where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees
blood.


At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
children.


Swallowing Coins

1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
coin
to
pass.

3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
pocket
money.

It's tuesday early morning again! Boo. Looks like I won't be in lalaland anytime soon. Fell asleep this afternoon massaging my calf muscles. Starting to hurt again. Haveen't been to see the doctor since I started giving tuition. Sigh. Hurts. Walking with a limp now. Better make an appointment soon.

Anyways, today's a special day! It's my Mum's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! *MUACKSS* I LOVE YOU!!!! *HUGS* My angel!

Yawn. Nothing much happened today. Boring day. Heh. Gonna be seeing my Andy tomorrow. I'm happy :) Wee. Gonna go to school to study. Muacks. He's the best!

May play in Merlin after my exams. See how..

Night everyone! *hugs* Muacks bunny!

I'm home! Wee, a fantastic day! So happy today. Many things happened today. Affecting me, most good. Some bad stuff happened but I guess it didn't involve me and hence, I can't really stick my foot into it.

Went to give tuition. Haha, Bunny's kid was there as well. Haha. Quite funny. Ended up giving the both of them tuition. Hehe.

Bunny came to pick me up after that. *so sweet* and went back to his place after that. Worked on my jigsaw. That thing is a killer lor. LoL. And he's so patient. *swoon*

Watched a Whose Line Is It Anyways after that followed by my FUTURAMA! Weet! Played a few games with his parents after that then had dinner with them. Met the rest for Troy after that.

Troy's prett good in my opinion. Plus I got to see Brad Pitt's butt like a few times lor. WOah man..... hur hur.... his biceps like bolster lor.But of course my bunny more appealing. Haha. SHow's good too. I love the scenes man.. magnificent shots. Really beautiful.

Went to lau pat sat after that for supper. Shiok la. Havent ate there in a while. Must get the girls to go there again the next time we go KTVing!

Sent me home after sending QY home. Really happy these days. He has been extraordinary sweet and loving. Feels more settled. Can tell that he is so much more patient now while I am slowly morphing into a spoil brat under this constant spoiling. LoL. Love you to bits! *hugs* You're been utterly wonderful. *Hugs*

Oh man, I have got this patch on my thigh.. like those blue blue blood under skin stains. From dunno what crap. The size of those square shape paste-it notes. Idiot. Huge lor. So ugly. Got it today from dunno what. Think weather was too hot so created a lot of pressure when I crossed my legs. Happened to be wearing a short skirt so probably nothing to buffer the pressure. Sigh I hope it goes away :(

Anyways, heard a news about a particular someone who stopped another someone from seeing the group. She doesn't have the right too and its ridiculously childish. Grr. Dunno man.

Wee! He's home. Update another time! ::In love:: Nights all! Hugs!

It's the weekends again! Hope you guys had fun or will be having fun when you read this!

Tuition in an hour and thought I'll just do a short blog before I leave. Think bunny either asleep (probably) or is in church. He hasn't replied me.

Ants are invading my room and I am getting the creeps. Millions of them. Okay, maybe not millions but a thousand is probable. I just killed like 100++ 200 yesterday. It's that bad. Thanks to the sweets my brother left in my room. Now, I don't know where to start cleaning them up. Those sneaky little creatures knows how to hide.. If only I knew where.. would exterminate their clan by my trusty bygone.. if only I knew where.. would crush every single one of them.. young and old.. oops. Sorry got carried away with my 'evilness'. Ha.

Oh well. Hope everyone has been fine. Gonna go get ready now. Take care peeps! *Hugs*

Woo. 2 papers down, 2 more to go. Got a 2 plus week break before they commence. So I'm pretty happy about it. Gives me time to study. Covered zilch for those 2 subjects. AF today was tough. A friend left early. Goodness.

Apart from my paper, today was actually a really really good day. Andy came to Expo to meet me after my exams. Was delighted having to see him. He's my light :)

Went to town. Had a HUGE surprise! I am half an owner of a ocbc account! Mi gosh! I am still in shock! I didn't know it would actually happen. Still in shock. Was totally blur when he led me inside. Wow. He smiled to himself as he filled the form. Is that love? That look of contentment and satisfaction and certainty was priceless. Was touched. :) Hugs.

Anyways bumped into Fu in Cine. Was so so so happy! Haven't seen him in ages! Was really happy to see him. Qinyun came later and we eat and talked at BK. Talked about some stuff which kinda made me feel a little sad. Anyways Fu said he bumped into Andy's ex girlfriend and said shes quite plump now! Woo hoo! I am so happy lor. I know I'm childish but I HATE HER! For doing mean things to my precious. He is for people to love and cherish, not tormented! I HATE HER! So happy. Hope she grows fat fat fat!! Hmm. God forgive me. I have sinned, please dont punish me. Just punish her. Bleah. I don't want to grow fat.

Watched Van Hellsing. Wow. Not bad man. The brides quite chio. The female lead is uber pretty as well. Nice. Like the way they morph. Very cool. The setting is just breathtaking in a dark, foggy way. And of course, Wolverine is hot. :P

Walked around, to PS after that. Am happy mostly these days. Felt very comfortable and at ease. It's just being around him that makes pain and worries go ahead. He is magic to me. And he is mine. :) I am happy :)

Just had a good talk with dearie. Feels good. Felt like I've unlocked something within myself. :) Hugs. I am glad he understands and doesn't think I am at fault. Hugs. You're the bestest! :) Love you!

Okie. Update another time. Tired. Everyone have fun! Hugs. Love ya all!

I am back. Again. Maybe I should rename my blog as "The diary of a no lifer whine queen who attempts to drag her boyfriend into her literally non-existant life". Beeping pathetic. Hai.

Talking about beeping. I realised how vulgar I can get in my head when I am under too much pressure or facing a deadline I am not comfortable with. But of course, they rarely escape my mouth unless I am tormented enough or agitated.

Anyways, it's another day to count my blessings. I have many reasons to. My boyfriend stayed in school with me from 11+am till 10+pm. He doesn't usually wake up at 9 odd but he did so today after I irritated the hell out of him. Wakaka. Rushed to get Mac breakfast and headed to school soon after. Settled down and got down to business. Beeping lot to cover. Studied, ate, studied ate. I study a lot better with him. He disciplines me and allocates me time to eat, study, rest. Muacks. He didn't even complain a single bit! So proud of him!

Short of two chapters, didn't manage to complete them and he sent me back home after that. Dropped by Rochor to buy dao hwey for Teresa. Hehe. Nice brother :) He picked her up from work halfway through at SIM as well. So proud of him. Muacks.

Tomorrow's the start of my first paper. Stressed up. AF is on thursday. I am so fricking scared. Hai.

But then again, everything is better with Andy around. Hai. I think at this rate I am going, making him go to school with me for the next 2 weeks, I am gonna lose my boyfriend before I can even say "An.." Blah. Sigh. Stress! Muacks dearie! You're the bestest! Thank you so much! I am sorry this isn't much of the life I hope that you will experience otherwise! Hugs.

Night everyone! Have a good weekend. Hugs. Love you all! Love you especially dearie! I heart you!

HAHAHA. Thanks Ru!


A very successful lawyer parked his brand new BMW in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the BMW. The counsellor immediately grabbed his mobile phone, dialled 999, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His BMW, which he day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new
again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "My God, don't you even realise that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck
hit you!!!"

"My God!" screamed the lawyer...........

"Where's my Rolex?!?"

Wow. Blog has a new blogging look. Haha. Prefer the old style though.. This looks a little.. errm cheapo.

Anyways he just sent me back from school. I am farking stressed I tell you. less than 2 days to my first paper. Sigh. Stressed. I am so grateful that my boyfriend is understanding and sweet like nuts and candy. He's been accompanying me every single time I go to school to study. Bringing food and all for me. Oh man. Stays all the way with me till school closes. I am envious of myself even. Must have done something fantastically right my previous life to have him. Muacks. Thank you so much bunny. No words is apt enough to describe how grateful I am! *hugs*

Tomorrow is gonna be another long day. Will be up at 730, get ready shower blah then head to his place to wake him up then tapao breakfast to school and study! Ah! I am so stressed. Someone save me. I'm so scared. Okie. Time to stop. Gonna shower, do online stuff, wait for him to get home then zZzzZzz. Did I mention how stressed I am? got 1/2 a syllabus to cover tomorrow. Fark.

Hope you guys are having a better time! Hugs. Love you all, BIG LOVE to my dearie.

It's 6 mins to Monday. How farking depressing. Don't mind the language, just watched a few episodes from this Quite funny I would think. But need to get used to the hamsterish talk. Thanks Tween for the site! *hugs*

Anyways, yesterday was alright. Went to give tuition. Had a session from 10 till 12 and another from 2 to 5. The student for the second session told me to go early so I was at her place at about 1.10pm but horror, she wasn't home! She got back only after 2 so I ended up waiting for over an hour outside her place. I am so blardie patient. Was quite surprised. Anyways, gave her tuition till 5 plus and rushed home. Went for dinner with my family at Coca near my place. I love the sauce man, yum. They served bobochacha for dessert and surprise surprise! I actually liked it quite a bit! It's very different from those normal ones.

Night wasn't that great. Went nuts and was very stressed up. Was staying up doing some game quest with Andy. Seeing how stressed I was, he made me go to bed, which is much needed as I didn't sleep much the night before and had a long day before bedtime. Thankfully he had been really sweet and patient about it. *Hugs* You're the bestest! Only you can stand me! Muacks.

Today's mother's day. His parents went to Bangkok also, so messaged his mom this morning to wish her a happy mom's day and a good trip. Got a reply then went back to bed. Woke up had lunch and headed to school. Didn't stay home cause exam was near and had kinda celebrated mother's day last evening. So wished my mum happy mother's day and left for school. Poor boy went back to sleep after he sent his parents to the airport. But still, he came over to school earlier that evening. Brought me Macdonalds! Hee. Feel like a kid everytime he brings me food. So nice :) Hugs hugs. He did his tuition stuff while I studied. Very nice. Stupid SIM scrimping on electricity bills I think. No aircon!!! It's suppose to be on till 6 pm but when I got there at like past 3, it was already switched off. Bully sia. So went down stairs at about 7 or so since there are fans there.

Studied till 9 odd and went to Newton circus to have our dinner/supper. The food there is overrated man. Isn't that fantastic but the prices are exorbitant. Fricking expensive for the veggie lor. Both of us had stingray, satay, 3 big otah, one plate of carrot cake, a plate of baby kailan. In the end cannot finish. So he took home the carrot cake. Haha. The tapaoing process was quite funny. Ya so basically we took the satay plate to cover the carrot cake plate and took it with us. Hahaha. Had fun nonetheless.

Thank you Bunny for accompanying me to school these days. I really appreciate it! Thank you too for being ever so patient! HUGE HUGS for you! Muacksss!

Okie, tomorrow gonna be another long day. Gonna go over to wake him up then head to school to study till it closes. YAWN. Sigh. Paper on wednesday and thursday. Someone help me. Hur.

Hugs to all! Love ya dearie!

Past two days havent been exactly good. Not directly relating to me but still I guess I am somewhat affected. Found out that a sec school classmate's mother passed away very recently. Shocked the hell out of me. Completely stunned and once again, I realised how vulnerable the lives of our loved ones can be. It's something I often try not to think about for the very reason that it depresses me. I cannot imagine myself mourning for someone I love - my family, my partner, my friends, and even any pets that I may keep. I cannot imagine myself accepting condolences from people whom I barely know, telling me 'it's gonna be alright' simply because wouldn't be. A part of you dies along with the person. And if he/she is dear enough, probably most if not all of you would be buried along with it. To have someone you love leave you is perhaps the worse pain ever.

I used to tell everyone I would like to die before my loved ones. But then, Andy once told me that if I did, it wouldn't be fair and yadda yadda. Perhaps its true. Who would take care of my loved ones then? Who would love them then? Not saying they they would have no one else who cares for them but if I die, wouldn't that be one less person loving them? So now, I am torn between staying very much alive and doing my part in the future as a child/wife/mother/friend/sow to the country/economy contributor/good citizen and trying to kill myself before my loved ones pass on to the pearly gates so as not to suffer the anguish of losing a loved one.

This evening, I bought 3 cards for mother's day. One for my mum, one for his mom and the other for his sister-in-law. I found out that Andy does not practise the habit of writing in such cards, something that I do diligently every special occasion to loved ones. In a way, I like expressing how I feel for a person. As I wrote my mum's card, I realised how much I enjoy it. It's a special feeling that you get when you tell someone you love her for a million reasons. And as I look back, I realise how unconditional it can be. Not that I often appreciate and see it but that care and love given by a person moulds and shapes you. I would not be who I am if my parents were, say, violent. So, please do write your mothers a card today if you haven't done so. if you can tell your gf/bf that you love them, why can't you do the same for someone who bore you, care and love you all her life?

I have also learnt the courage of the human heart. To love is to give, and to give is to let go. To love without hurting and to let go without getting hurt. Perhaps, all we need is time? Complexities of love are sometimes hard to resolve. There isn't a why, nor is there a how. It just is it. To be apart isn't to love less, and to be together doesn't necessarily mean to love more. Sometimes, it's just for the better. Perhaps, time to straighten out thoughts and struggles and sometimes, it's the start of a better, happier life. Time may not heal all wounds but at the very least, time will open up your eyes. This I only realised about much thought. Sometimes you get lost in the tunnel and can't see light. But it is only time when you find a way out.

Everyone deserves the best. It's just that perhaps, some haven't found that right person yet and/or it isn't time for the flowers to blossom. To you guys who are hurting, I don't know what I can do or how I can take your pain away but do know that whenever you guys need a listening ear, I'll be around alright? *Hugs*

I am happy that for now, I can truly say that I have someone I wish to spend my life with. Flawed in many ways but perfect in every way. No relationship is perfect. No one lives through a relationship without an argument, fight or disagreement. Doesn't mean love isn't there. Perhaps the relationship is just more intense. Doesn't mean a seemingly peaceful relationship is perfect, it may mean that one is giving in way too much. We argue a hell lot at times but now, the both of us has grown in many ways. For one, he has become more patient with my absurd tantrums during my ovulating period. Haha. He has matured and changed a lot within a rather short time, which is apalling by my standards. I am, without a doubt, very pleased. I have too, learnt to voice out my opinions and be more vocal about how I feel. And in this way, our relationship is more balanced, with all the yin and the yang in the right positions. Haha. We have come to accept our individuality, but at the same time, be tolerant towards quirky habits. We have learnt to be in sync in many different ways. It's rather fascinating as this wasn't what I had imagined it to be. This is by far my longest lasting relationship which is still going strong (which is a surprise to me) and the fact that how I feel towards him at this point speaks volumes (had grown volumes too).

I am glad my turn came. Patience tested me and I am glad I passed and got my reward. Perhaps, fairytales do come true. Just in a more realistic package. Be patient, for Cupid may be watching you now, and the arrow will strike, when you least expect it.

Good night everyone. Have a good weekend ahead. hugs everyone. Love you Bunny. Muacks.

An article to share.

***

Beware stealth bombers
Often, it is not a major crisis such as adultery, but stealth problems that quietly creep into a relationship that end up choking it. By Tee Hun Ching

THERE were no deep gashes, just little wounds that refused to heal. Rows were common, but hey, who didn't have them? So for three years, we hung on, thinking that things would get better, willing that day to come soon as tears watered down the smiles.

There was no heinous crime that required a dash for the exit. Neither of us had strayed, neither was a partner-basher and neither was getting cold feet. It was just, you know, the usual things like anger fits, petty quarrels and jealous tantrums which grew in frequency and chipped away at the core. They were rarely resolved, but hastily papered over to secure an uneasy truce, only to erupt again with each fresh fight. So even as the old cracks remained, new ones appeared despite our best efforts. Then, the futility of it all sank in. Very reluctantly, we gave up.

If we had been married, my attitude would have been different. I subscribe to the notion of making things work at all cost once you say 'I do'. It didn't mean that I invested less heart and time because vows had not been exchanged. It just dawned on me that not all couples are suited for a walk down the aisle.

Just because there is no major crisis such as adultery or abuse doesn't mean that a relationship is a good one.
Very often, it is what my friend calls the 'stealth problems' that end up choking love. He should know. For two years, he was devoted to a girl who always fed him the line that it was his privilege to date her. She would throw his stuff out of the flat whenever they fought, make him pay for everything, and openly display boredom and impatience during outings with his family.

He finally snapped when she threw a fit after he took his parents on a rare outing on his day off instead of spending that day with her, as he had always done. They weren't what you would call major problems,' he says of her behaviour.
'It's not like a heart attack that gets your attention right away, but a cancer that eats away at your body without you realising. 'That's where the danger lies, because you will brush aside the little aches and pains until it's too late, like when you get married, and things become unbearable with no way out.'

WHEN asked to account for the spike in divorce rates, family counsellors often cite the low tolerance of today's me-me-me generation as a reason.

Unlike their parents, who would dig their heels in and weather hardship as a team, they say younger couples tend to put themselves first and bail at the first hint of trouble. But even before they get to the altar, there are also many who cling on desperately to a relationship running solely on the fumes of hope. As marital splits soar - recent figures point to a record high of 5,825 in 2002 - reminders that all relationships require hard work to maintain have grown stronger.
This is an invaluable message that can bring expectations of romance shaped by Hollywood in line with stark reality.
The irony is, it can also warp your notion of love and blind you to danger signs.

You start to believe that love and problems will always arrive together in a prickly, fragile package, rather than an evergreen that can weather the elements. Happiness is thus defined as the absence of conflict, rather than the sheer bliss of having and enjoying each other. Another friend put up with a girl who cheated on him twice, suspected him of hanky-panky with his female colleagues if he didn't call her at lunchtime, and called him 'disgusting' if he shed tears over the stormy relationship. Referring to those three years as 'the Dark Ages', he tells me: 'I thought if I could stay with someone who was difficult to love, it would be further proof that I loved her. You always hear things like 'the course of love never did run smooth', so I assumed it was the norm.' I just kept hoping that she would change. I even resigned myself to the fact that I would never be truly happy.'

A girl pal suffered the indignity of having her every move questioned for three years, also in the name of love.
If guys were included in a scheduled lunch, her boyfriend would kick up such a fuss that she would end up feeling bad and skipping the appointment.It didn't matter that these friends were married or gay. He also inspected her shopping buys and pressured her into dumping tops he deemed too revealing.'I lived with it because I thought that's just the way he is. When you love someone, you have to take the whole package, warts and all, unless something really major erupts,' she explains. The irony was, he was the one who wanted out eventually. She says: 'Even after I broke up with him, I didn't see his behaviour as a huge problem. It wasn't till I met someone new that I realised how liberating it is to be in a relationship where the guy doesn't control you or lay guilt trips.'

NO ONE expects love to be a bed of roses, so no couple should call it a day whenever a problem crops up without first trying their darndest to resolve it as a team. But neither should love be a thicket of thorns. The rule of thumb, says a colleague who has been married happily for four years, is that if there are more tears than laughter, something is wrong.
'The flowers should always, always, outnumber the thorns.'

***

Okie. Time for lunch. Have a great day everyone. Hugs all. Gonna be a long day today. Yawn. Muacks dearie!

Did I mention I have a present apart from the chalet from my dearie? It's a JIGSAW!!! One with PIGLET! AHHHHH!! Silly boy rushed out and had no time to clear it cause I was mad at him. Sorry *muacks* I didnt know. Poor thing stayed up all night and used up all his money for that. So sweet. Still isn't complete but I enjoyed doing it with him. But Alas, I am so impatient with such things. He on the other hand, is so patient. Wonder which sicko invented this sick game of cutting a picture into thousands of pieces then piece it back together again. Damn bian tai. Nonetheless it's fun doing it with him.

Anyways reminded me of something Cindy and I talked about. The value of a present. The "value" of a person isn't always about the cost of it. It is often about the sincerity that comes with it and the fraction of your total cash assets. Basically, in short. If you have 10 bucks and if you spend 10 bucks on it, the present can be just as valuable or even more so than a 100 bucks present. It's like spending your all on someone. Haha. Not making sense?

Anyways, thank you bunny! it's the bestest present ever!! Muacks Fen and Ling too! Hehe, Your Squall jigsaw is still hanging in my room! =D Muacks.

Wee! Rainign heavily this morning! Guang said it's for ME!!!! Weeee~ So happy! Teresa messaged me! So happy! My ex student messaged me! So happy! Missed her quite a bit. And of course, my best friend messaged me! Muacks Winnie! Nice waking up to messages! Thank you all!

Okie. Time to wake the boy. Hugs all! Have a great great day! Love you all!

Weee! I am home. What a day! I think I know why I acted strange today. So cranky. PMSing! Bleah. Sorry Bunny. Muaks. Forgive me.

Anyways evening was nice! His family prepared a dinner for my birthday. Had steak, my favourite pasta, fried mushrooms, salad and cheesecake. Was really wonderful. Love his mom especially. She's such a sweet one! She says she loves me! Wee! Food was good. Ethan was adorable! Uncle Fred is so cute! Finding all excuses to hold him! Doting grandpa. Heh. He also said a really lovely prayer for me. Was moved. hehe. Happy.

After that went to watch a Win a date with Ted hamilton. Leon called me before that and asked to meet me urgently. Haha. In the end it was to pass a present from all of them. So sweet! Thank you all! Muacks! Hehe, they got me a Precious Moments figurine. Really sweet! You peeps have great taste! Hee. Thankies. Muaccks!!!!

Win a date was surprising enjoyable for a chick/teen flick. Haha. Quite funny also. Quite nice. The girl is really pretty and the Ted is of course *hehehehe*.. I enjoyed it. Heh.

Walked around for a bit afterwards and decided to head to Swensens since its the only place opened at that time of the night. Big thank you to those who have smsed me at midnight! Really very sweet! Haha. Happy :)

Okie, update tmr or something. Hopelessly tired. Muacks all! Good night!

Oh mannnn. I woke up 3 hours later than intended. Sigh. Oh well. Woke up at 9 went back to bed, woke up at 10, fell back asleep. And had the weirdest dream ever.

Facts before the dream. Everyone who knows me long enough know that my maternal grandparents have passed away. My grandparents I will be mentioning refers to my maternal grandparents.

Dream went like this. I dreamt that I was over at my grandparents' old place, or something, when my brother told a funny joke and the statue of Guanyin smiled. Her eyes started to move and it startled me. Then I told my brother about it and we realised that the statue was "alive". Then time seemed to stop and Guanyin, as in the goddess took human form and started talking to me. Was on my earphones so I couldn't hear what she was saying. She was basically advising me on certain subjects to take in school, I think. So I removed it to hear her better and asked her to repeat it. I was also entranced by her eyes. So I kinda lost focus to what she was saying. Then she ended off by telling me that I should remember not to tell anyone I saw her and mumbered something about it while smiling then vanishes.

Then at my grandparents' place. It was suddenly bustling with activities. My grandparents were there. In fact, my grandpa was wearing jeans which he never did before. Grandma was in the room on the wheelchair with the maid serving her. My 3rd uncle was on the phone talking about his ex wife. In the dream, I even told my grandpa he looked funky. But it dawned on me that something wasn't right when I remembered my 3rd uncle's a bachelor. Then I realised my grandparents had passed away and started to panic. Gathered my dad and brother but couldn't find my mom. My bro didn't believe me at first when I told him we were trapped in a matrix and even showed me the finger, which he never does in real life. Then later they believed me and we started looking for my mom. This time, there was some evil presence and we decided to look for my mom and flee. Couldn't find her anywhere and so I took a small teddy that she gave me and put it in my right pocket, with my hp in my left pocket. So we climbed out of the window. That evil guy was carrying this rifle with a long barrel and was trying to kill us. Then out of nowhere came two anonyomous heroes who helped fend us from him. So finally we reached the bottom and that was the end of part one.

I kinda 'woke up' in the next series when I was with Andy. We were in some ulu parts of some place. In a shopping Mall apparently. We were trying to get some stuff. Apparently, he bought a house in that place and he needed to get some stuff for it. Then I told him about the dream and said that if it wasn't a dream, why is the teddy I took from the dream in my pocket. Then all of suddenly, I felt a sudden presence of that evil. So we were once again, trying to avoid it, or rather I was fricking paranoid. So after that, we were in the car, he was driving around to his new place and his driving was like shyt man. Total opposite of that in real life. Reckless. Scary sia. Like stunts. Then we were at this cowboy town, where signboards gave the signs followed by a 'before fire' or 'after fire'. Weird right? Yeah so afterwards we headed off to his new place and that's when Leon smsed me and woke me up. Thanks Di. You saved me. Ha.

K. gotta get ready to meet Andy. Good day everyone. Oh man. Weird dream.

Haha. A very interesting song. Heh.

Sting - All Four Seasons

With her smile as sweet as a warm wind in summer
She's got me flying like a bird in a bright June sky
And then just when she thinks that I've got her number
Brings me down to the ground with her wintry eye
That's my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day

And when the nighttime comes with no interference
To our warm summer love with all its charms
But like a thoroughbred horse she can turn on a sixpence
And I find that I'm back in Mistress Winter's arms
That's my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day

How will I know?
How can I tell?
Which side of the bed she takes when the day begins
She can be kind
She can be cruel
She's got me guessing like a game show fool

She can change her mind like she changes her sweaters
From one minute to the next it's hard to tell
She blows hot and cold just like stormy weather
She's my gift from the Lord or a fiend from hell
That's my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day

Watching the weatherman's been no good at all
Winter, spring, summer, I'm bound for a fall
There are no long term predictions for my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day

How will I know?
How can I tell?
Which side of the bed she takes when the day begins
She can be kind
She can be cruel
She's got me guessing like a game show fool

If it's a sunny day I take my umbrella
Just in case the raindrops start to fall
You could say that I'm just a cautious fellow
I don't want to be caught in a sudden squall
That's my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day
That's my baby
She can be all four seasons in one day

It's Sundddayyy... Boring boring day. STudied. Nothing else done. Ha. Okie la, rested a little. In fact I dozed off for about an hour. Hahaha. Saddest. AF AF AF AF!!!! Gives me a headache.

Can't remember what happened on Thursday. Think I studied in school and Andy came down to accompany me after class. Hehe. Muacks. Friday, he came to school to have lunch with me, then went to give tuition while he waited downstairs. Hehe, thanks!! Was ridiculously hot and that poor thing was drenched when I saw him after tuition. Sorry sweetheart!! Muacks. You're the bestest! Went to Tiong Bahru afterwards to get him some dinner. He headed off to help his bro while I headed back home. Heh.

Yesterday was quite irritating to say the least. Morning, got up late, so had to rush off to give tuition. Almost slipped and fell because of a flower!! Can you believe it? Gosh. Anyways, was 5 minutes late. Ha. Carryin a lot of fricking AF notes and my bag was the size of a boulder. And you cannot believe how hot it becomes when you carry such a heavy bag and when the sun is garing down at you like a blast furnace. Farking hot.

Gave tuition and all and it ended late. Very late. Her mother wanted to talk to me. So anyways, was late for my lunch buffet!! Damn! My durian puree! Heavenly I tell you! Yum!! So in the end ganna screwed by my mom. Bah. They were already there, but I wouldnt be able to make it in time so decided not to go in the end. Plus, my mouth is full of ulcers. Ate too much candy. Darn. Been eating a lot of sweets to keep me awake in school. Ha. I think the barley mint by Meiji cuts your tongue like nuts. But it's delicious! Yum!

Yeah, so left her place and headed off to school. Wanted to study a bit before Andy comes to school in the evening. He had to help his bro with some studio thingie first. So anyways, guess what, I left some of my AF notes in her place and I had to walk from the MRT station all the way to her place just to pick them up! I had picked up 4 of her assessment books before I left and my bag was so heavy it felt like part of the Nicoll Highway collapse was on my back. Piang. Headed to school. Blardie hot. Something is wrong with the weather. It's fricking hot. I tell you. Couldn't find any tables in the airconditioned area and had to settle somewhere near the sun. SO hot. Plus lots of smokers near me. an. I felt like a Peking duck. Ahhhhh!

SO spent the next four hours doing 4 blardie questions of AF. My AF sucks. Was fricking hungry as well since I skipped my lunch appt and there wasn't any food sold in school coz it was a public holiday. Finally at 6+, 7, my angel appeared with bags of Macdonalds. Ha. The bag was literally sparkingly. Could smell it a kilometer away. I swear it soggy fries never tasted this good. Ha. Thanks dearie! *muacks.* Studied a little more while he played and left school at about 9. Drove around and didn't know what to eat and decided to head to PS instead. Invented some lame jokes. Wahahaha.

Watched that Korean show Please Teach Me English with his friends. Quite hilarious. The piglet is adorable! Quite a number of slipups happened before that as well.. Haha. Weird day. Had supper after that and headed back home. Had a nice talk before I left. Muacks dearie. I'm glad to know I fit somewhere in your plans. Hehe.

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day! Gonna be up to study, then go to Andy's new kid's place with him! Hee, he's gonna be a tutor with effect from tomorrow! Wee! Class in the evening. Bah. Hee.

1 week plus to my exams. Stress..!

Good news. Havent cried in a long time. Happy happy. Muacks dearie! *hugs*

Have a good week ahead everyone! Good luck if you're having your exams! Hugs all!