Went out to get these.. 

But these carrassed my feet so well.. 

So that's how the story goes.. and I ended up with these.. I hereby welcome them to my Shoes family! *clap clap* Nice? ^^  

Awesome awesome awesome time! Abeit a little sleepy but AWessooomeee!!! Place was awesome, the music was awesome, the crowd was awesome, the drinks awesome (but so x!!) and last but not least, the company was more than awesome! :D

Had an amazing time, and sweat buckets. Well, looks like I do a sport on a social basis afterall - dance. Haha.

SMell like a walking cigarette. Must detox over the next few days. Alcohol, late nights and good skin dont mix. Sigh. My body feels killed by the ciggie, alcohol, late nights. But it feels really worked out.

Fun fun fun!!!

Funnnnnn!!!!!

Alrighty. Time for shower. My rooms smells like a pub. STayed up for 18 hours straight. I'm really stoned right now... so..... Nightyyyyyyyyyyy! ^^

Some of us! Guess which is me or my brother!! Hehehe :) 

/hurray!! 

/salute! 

Heeeee^^ 

离开我

我把你的电话从手机里消除了
我把你的消息从话题里减少了
我把你的味道用香水喷掉了
我把你的照片用全家福挡住了
你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚
你让我的骄傲觉得很无知
你让我的朋友关心我的生活
你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由
离开我
你会不会好一点
离开你
什么事都难一点
车来了
坐上你的明天
车走了
我还站在路边
离开我
你会不会好一点
离开你
什么事都难一点
风来了
云就会少一点
你走了
我住在雨里面

My head's gonna explode and blow any minute.

Heart's been accelerating all day. I'm just trembling and feeling so much fear. Miserable day. I'm just everywhere but where I should be.

Shaking shaking.

Nana's 21st! Yea me and my retarded looking hair >< 

Joined them for clubbing after the BBQ. Lousy place la! 

Today I retraced the path we used to walk when we went from Cityhall to the merlion at esplanade park. I felt exactly the same as I did in the past. Fearful and afraid of the dark. I remember how I used to stand so close to you to feel secure and fearless. And how I close my eyes tightshut when I walked that same path today. I took a deep breath, searching for that same ease and security that I had found previously. Only this time, I found none. There was no footsteps walking in tune with mine. There was no laughter accompanying my shallow breaths. The was no warmth from you in that chilling breeze. I did not smile, I did not slow down to catch a glimpse of that beautiful sight that was ahead of me. I could only fasten my pace and wish for the silence to end. Looking back, I wish I had told you how safe you made each step I took feel.

Today I went to celebrate Nana's 21st birthday! Hehe. Quite a hectic day. Didn't help that I wasn't feeling too great. Been so long since I've seen her! Anyway the food was food! Hee. Had quite a full dinner and was interesting meeting all her friends. I don't think I've ever had all my friends gather in the same area before. So oh well. Hee.

Took some pictures with her. Maybe I'll post them up when I'm free and not that lazy.

Anyway my ear's really blocked right now. And the reason will be out in a minute.

Yes, went to club after the BBQ with SIMmers. Oh my goodness lor. Dxo looked extremely empty from the outside and we went to Onyx since it was just right across the river. Pretty much suck ok!! They were playing techno trance and it was really -_-!!! Luckily it came with two free drinks and their drinks are quite ok. Their tequilla shots were pure alcohol too so I was pretty satisfied. But other than that.. that place sucks. We were offered free membership but we turned it down. Yes, we did, free one ok!! This was how bad that place was!! Was weird and everyone seem to be worshipping the Dj.. dunno how to describe. Was just plain weird.

Ok. So tired now. Just showered. Need to sleep soon. Late nights been killing my skin. Blah.

Pictures another day!

Like I fell down again. Grazed badly, scabs fell off and salt got rubbed into my wounds forcefully. Bit my lip, swallowed my pride and let my tears run free.

"sometimes I just don't know where to place my hands."


On a bright note. Happy birthday Sis. Big hugs. Miss you tons and see you on Sat. Smooches. May happiness be with you always and may cheer be around you everyday. Love you sis!

Been quite a while since I have updated. Thanks to those who have been asking how I am and for your concern. The report is out and even though I'm not totally 100% cleared, I just very thankful for it. The implications are there and I think it's something I can live with. I just hope it will continue to stay that way. Thank you all for the concern! And apologies if I had been slow with this.

The wound is quite OK as well. Still hurts a little when I get too tough on myself. Just need to be a little gentler! That's all! :)

Otherwise, nothing much has happened or changed. Still the same. But I've been hiding at home for the past week plus. Reason being I've done something that I've pretty much regretted. ANd that is.. I've cut my fringe! So I'm sporting a short short fringe now. And yes, I look spastic!! I look like a kid basically! To the extent that just two days ago, my mum looked at me, I gave her a bewildered, wide-eyed look and she gave me a hug and called me her 'little baby' -____- So there you go. I look like a child. Argh.

Anyways, earlier today, a friend asked me a simple but interesting question. Would I ever date a colleague from work? I gave it some thought.. and told him no. Because I suddenly remembered this 'quote' I often hear.. Don't shit where you eat. An infatuation hits you then leaves you. Not worth screwing up the rest of your career if it ends on a bad note. But what if the guy's your boss? Hmmm....

PMSing badly. Don't diss me. I bite!

Someone's words are ringing in my head: " I don't know.. you just give me a feeling that you are an unlucky girl. Nothing goes your way." I feel haunted by it. Maybe I am PMSing badly. Oh dear.

I am hungry.

My wound hurts a bit.

Sigh.

Mindfucker? Must be.

Craving Iced Latte.

Hungry.

Moody.

3 more days.

Oh crap.

Sigh.

Jap PTs are so much fun when you have no donkey idea as to what they are saying.

Hohoho.

Random words.

Hungry.

Spacing off.

Think I shall go eat.

Over and out.

The day it all fell apart. The day I stopped dead in my tracks. The day the shadow cast a darkness upon my mind.

Been nothing but a prideful fool. Caged at the crossroads.

Corrinne May - Journey
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm suppose to be
It's a long long journey
and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a ling long journey
till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong I know
I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
ANd I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understand
I dont even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
WIll you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath these stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
WIll I find my way home to you

Are humans rational by nature? Or are they taught logic? Somehow part of me believe that the reason why we are social creatures is so that the next person can exert rationality and logic on you, simply because we are incapable of perfecting it on ourselves.

A conversation with some people about some others I knew just made me wonder.. everyone passes judgements on another. Still waters run deep. Everyone has our needs and wants. But how expressive we are is a totally different story. Do we attempt to change them? Or do we attempt to accomodate and accept? For me, I choose to accept, especially if it's an intrinstic part of their personality. To love you, for who you are. To embrace your qualities and to celebrate your flaws. To accept and appreciate. I'm not a saint. I don't do such things because I'm perfect. I do them because I know that I am accepted for who I am. Although there are times that I am sorry for who I am at my ugliest. But still. those people chose to look beyond that facade and love me for who I am. So, who am I to judge? After talking to some of my friends today. I began to feel a deeper appreciate for these people in my life. I know there are things about myself that I dislike (first on list, control my temper and resist the urge to be out of character to force a reaction out of the other party!) and I will try.

I miss my friends. I miss my girls. I miss my boys. Guys, come home soon will you all?

We live in a little place called Earth.. it's actually not that huge.. it's our minds that make it so. Everything is fixed and calculated. Matrices, time, axis, everything. But our mind is in constant motion, constantly being moulded, constantly changing, constantly being affected by the things we see, hear, feel and believe it. The only thing that is complex is our minds. Makes the world complex. I dont know what I am typing actually. Maybe I am just PMSing badly.. Dunno.. Maybe I should get some sleep... Yea.. I should..

Life is shrouded by lies, no? You against the world. Will you yield?

...

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in it's time

It's strange how the kids you grew up with suddenly became such grown-ups while you're stuck here.. as a child!

My lovely cousin, gave birth to a lovely baby girl a couple of days ago. She's 27, got married about 2 years back and now, her family is complete! I am so very happy for her! I also realised some of my silly cousins are 30. Goodness. And when we gather, they look ever youthful, are a bunch of laughs and engage in very childish but funny games. Which is why I did a double take when my bro announced that those monkeys are already 30! Actually youthfulness run in my mother's side of the family. Maybe most of them are cheerful, happy-g0-lucky people. Even my mother. Together with my youngest aunt, they are no doubt the naughtiest ladies in the family. It's fun to watch them interact with kids. Teasing them relentlessly. I love my mom to bits. She's just so cute.

This morning, I forgot to unlock the door. She got so worried and came to my bedside and WHISPERED, 'are you ok? why you lock the door?' like she expected to hear a equally mysterious reply. She looked relieved when I sleepily replied that I forgot to unlock the door after I was done pasting the silicon gel sheet on my scars last night. And tried my best to assure her with my sleepy eyes that, no, her daughter wasn't doing drugs, or ciggies, or worse, sex in the privacy of my room.

Then my dad came in and started hovering the room. And talking to me. And making fun of me in that kiddish voice (why do fathers talk like that to their grown up daughters everytime???) WHILE I AM STILL SLEEPING. Strange parents I have there. But I love them to bits. Hee.

Next week is DDay1. Hohoho. Sucks. Shall not think about it.

I have plenty of lemmings. I wanna go shopping. But I got no money. Ahhhh!!

Awful morning. Feeling unwell.. throat infection still there. And now I'm feeling nauseous and feverish.

Bah crap.

Update later. This sucks. :(