I am troubled. Can't sleep. Cause of the dreaded PMS. Came back online to check my transactions only to realise I spent a grand total of $1221.15 in two months. And that's just ATM alone. Plus cash, I dont know how much I spent. OH MY GOSH. HAHAHAHA. I am shocked!

Perfection : The state of being without a flaw or defect.

Ever wished you were that?

Ever wished you had the perfect body, perfect face, perfect hair with that perfect dress and that perfect shoes with perfect jewellery that screams perfection when you step out?

Ever wished you had the perfect personality that that everyone loves?

Ever wished you had a perfect score when it comes to achievements, career, studies and credentials?

Ever wished you had that perfect house with that perfect car and that perfect One standing there welcoming you with open arms?

Ever wished you had everything you wish for?

For a split second, I wished for all those things.. until someone came to tell me I am perfect the way that I am. That is enough for me..

Perfection makes us robots. You are who you are because you are unique and special. Or maybe thats because we can never be perfect. So why try to be? Or not.

Object of my buuurrrnnning desire. So beauuutiifuuul! 

Just got home. Awfully tired. Very very tired now. YAWwwwwwwwnn..

Nothing much today. Highlight of the day was parousia's gig at Bethesda church over at siglap. Oh man, they sounded fantastic. One of the best best best sets I've seen. Andy did a great job with the sounds. Was superb. Missed their EP release yesterday. So glad I am able to be there today. Was fantastic. Cried when I heard Wounded Hands. The song always makes me feel *weepy* but today, somehow, I started tearing as they played and when his bro ended it off with the rest of the sharing, I just started crying. I guess some things, although you know and have heard of them, it doesnt come quite as close to experiencing it yourself. I just really felt Him reaching out to me for the first time and for that moment, I understood everything He went through for us. Things that didn't make sense to me were suddenly crystal clear. I am touched. By Him. A small step.. Slowly.. but surely...

Haha... an hr has passed and I am still up! I cannot believe this. Need sleep. Desperately. Night!

*sigh* Regretted taking up the assignment. Sigh. :(

Yawn. Getting tired. Been sleeping late these days. Bad bad! Stayed up till very late last night trying to type out science revision notes for my 3 kids. 3 down, 28 more chapters to go.. PSLE is horror! Poor things. I wonder how I made it through then. Ha.

Yesterday was great. Got my tongue cut very badly from eating too much candies previously so had to postpone my steamboat *boohoo* Yes Ling, kudos to you for introducing mt to the best tom yum/blah steamboat ever! Oiishi! However that is spelt. So pigged out on smaller items like kfc and subway, cookies blah blah. And watch Borne Identity. Yes I'm a lagger. Ha.

Today, met Andy after his work. Went to the Comex fair. People mountain people sea. Bought his toy. Silly boy looked so happy. Headed back to his place to play afterwards.. EVERYBODY SAYS GONGFU FIGHTING! HEY HA! FAST AS LIGHTNING! HEY HA! Or whatever.

Dilly has grown bigger! Still as timid as ever though. *sigh* But definitely very fast and agile. As for Silly, sad to say, that horny hammie has been trying to hump Dilly whenever he can. And Dilly would would try to clean himself after trying to get Silly off him. Poor little Dilly. Been humiliated! Boo hoo. Can I buy like a wooden beam or smthing for SIlly to grab and hump instead? Dilly so poor thing. Can't bear it. Ahh. So gross.

Okie, time for bed. Hungry. Again. Lala. PMSinggggg. I am hungryyyy! Night everyone! Muacks all! Hugs dearie!

Happy first year anniversary Dearest!!

Thank you for:
::the many times you were right beside me, not speaking, just being there. silence speaks volumes in our hearts
::the many times you were there to share my lamest jokes and laughing like they were hilarious
::laughing with me and making me laugh with your silly antics. only you can do that
::being there for me, no matter what
::telling me your dreams, your fears, your loves, your hates
::sharing your life with me
::bringing Aunt Shirley, Uncle Fred, Jeffrey, Lyndsay, Teresa and little Ethan, your wonderful friends into my life
::calling me even when you should be asleep :)
::saying thank to me for the past year :)
::telling me you love me a million times everyday
::finding time to talk to me one way or another even if you are busy at work
::telling me everytime that goes on in your life
::walking closer to God and feeling Him closer to me each time I am with you
::making sure the blankie is over me when I sleep
::kissing away my tears whenever I cry
::letting me share your past experiences and the pain you went through
::letting me erase those pains away for you slowly
::bugging me to marry you whenever you can
::babytalking to me
::dancing silly dances just to make me smile
::having the cutest dog, Spock, ever
::Silly and Dilly
::cooking for me, preparing wonderful meals even when you are busy
::taking me to boring places only I think are interesting
::always reminding me you have huge plans about our future, giving me a sense of security and bliss
::helping me discover wonderful tacos, amazing meat-choked subway, beef beef and more beef
::indulging in my greed unlike other boyfriends who stop their girlfriends from eating
::gaming with me even when you are tired

There are just so much things and meaning you bring into my life that words are no longer adequate to spell out how wonderful life has been since I met you. Though we had our fair share of ups and downs, nothing beats the feeling of realizing how much we mean to each other at the end of the fight. That we fight because we are apart. You are amazing and although you may think you are flawed, you are perfect to me, in each and every single way. I couldn't ask for more. Everyday is Bliss because you are in it. You changed my perspective and made me grow up whilst letting me retain that child in me, in you, in us. I am free when I am with you and I cannot imagine a life without you.

I would say I love you a billion times but it wouldn't be enough. So on this special day, may we celebrate our love with a quiet bliss. If eternity is forever, I would offer you an eternity of love beyond forever.

To you, to me, to us.

Happy 1st year anniversary. May we have many many more to come :)

This friday, The Third Place at Outram. Place to be at for great music and to chill out. Andy's bro's band performing. An experience to watch them perform! Come if you're free! 8pm or so.

Arresting.


forget his name
forget his face
forget his kiss
his warm embrace
forget the love that u once knew
remember he has someone new
forget him when they played your song
remember when you cried all night long
forget how close you two once where
remember he has chosen her
forget you memorised his walks
forget the way he used to talk
forget the things he used to say
remember he has gone away
forget his laughter, forget his grin
forget the dimples on his chest
forget the way he held you close
remember he's with her tonight
forget the time that went so fast
forget the love that moved, its past
forget he said he'd leave you never
remember hes gone forever

Almost 2. I'm bored! And unwell. Crappy. Boo Hoo! He must be busy. He hasn't called. Poor thing. Has got 3 comm to tweak today. Jiayou!

Time flies. It's out 364th day and14th hour! Ha. So cool. Wee. Update again.. Time to daydream and slack!

Gah, Monday blueeeeeeeees! Feeling oh-so-tired. Think the sun has gotten to me. I don't feel too great. Slightly feverish and I feel hot and cold. This sucks. Still have to give tuition to my two young punks later. Gonna be a 3 hour session. They are best friends so I'm gonna give them tuition at the same time. They've got a paper tomorrow. Sigh.. SIck sick sick!

Weekend was good. Friday was fantastic!! Met up with my girls. Had steamboat. Wah, very nice. The tom yum soup base was power! Ate like pigs. Haha. Shiok. I wanna go again! Had a great time with them. Missed them so much. Laughed a lot and am glad to knoew that each one of us cares deeply for one another even though we don't meet that often. Wonderful feeling. My dearest sisters, I lurrrvvvveee you alll soooo much! WHen are we gonna pig out again? ;)

Sat and Sunday were great too. Spent a lot of time around Andy, which made me happy. Had no tuition on that Sat which made me happier. Haha. Not so great things happened but it made me realise many things, all of which were good. Things resolved. ANyways, watched parousia perform at the skydive event. Blardie hot weather we have hee in SG! The entire grassy area was brown and toasted! Got poked by the grass and bled. It was that dry! If you want a preview of hell's temp, there would be the place to go. Haha. Anyways, parousia was outstanding as usual. Somehow all the other bands look juvenile as compared to them. Haha. But the sound guy did a very bad job. They sounded a little funny. Sun, went back to 'hell' again. CoT was performing. Felt sorry for Andy since he had to perform in that condition. Must be painful. Ouch. So sorry :( They sound great though. The MC was super annoying, kept interrupting to make silly announcements while they were performing. So rude!

Yeah so after that, we went over to Suntec for a drink and some munchies at Subway. Went Serangoon to get hamster supplies then headed home a little after that. That was weekend. Hehe. Monday today. And sick. Ha. Crap. Gotta run, no idea what I am saying. I can't string a sentence now. Ciao!

What the armpithair!! *winks at Andy* Private joke. IS mag horoscope.

I wolfed down a casserole of baked rice just 3 hours ago and now I am hungry again?! AHhhh!! What is happening!! Anyways quite happy. He bought me Rotiboy just now... AWESOME stuff! It's this butter bun like thingie.. You need to try it to experience its goodness... WAHHHHh. Try it. The shop selling it is located in china square foodcourt. YUMMIEEEEEEEEEe!!!

Anyways, was great meeting Leon and gang today! Happy to see them.. Hope to have more of such meetings! Missed them so much!!!

Can't remember what I did last week. Shall update again when I can recall those events. The biggest annoying event was that we bought this red lily from this florist at Hong Lim Complex florist. Was meant for Aunty Shirley. Wanted to surprise her during the dinner afterwards. Don't ask me why red lily. Was miscommunication on our part. I wanted white lily, because to me, it symbolized grace and beauty. Somehow Andy started to mention that it's for dead people and all that and under pressure from the lady that red lily was better for a birthday kinda thingie, I gave in, even though I hate red lilies and thought they looked like crap. I assumed Andy preferred it, only realizing that he thinks it looks like crap too. It's obviously reddish in colour. And guess what colour combination she used for the wrapping? PINK! PINK AND MORE PINK. Those ugly solid cheena pink with white stripes!!!! In the end, the bouquet looked awful. So was my mood and we were too embarrassed to give it to Aunty Shirley so both of us decided to just throw it away. Tried to find another florist but in vain. Pooi. That flower is really u-g-l-y.

Ok. Need to eat. Night all! Hugs.

Hehe, so cuteeee! 

Malaysia Idol... LoL.... http://www.smiley.qsurf.org/video/malaysia.wmv

Was told by Andy to read this, pretty informative..

Completion means resolving matters from your past, and bringing closure to old things that continue to haunt you in the present. It's like finishing the final paragraph in a previous chapter of your life, so you can live more fully here and now.

How does the past get left in a state that still affects us? Don't we try to forget unpleasant events? Well, in fact, we do forget - on a conscious level, that is. Unconsciously, however, those past events and the upset feelings that surrounded them still live on in our psyches.

We all know that we can be sensitive about certain things in relating. Sometimes we may recognize how our sensitivities relate to past events. Hurt, fear, or anger can linger, preventing us from fully opening again. Similarly, an endless longing, a hunger for revenge, a deep regret, or a stubborn grudge can keep us stuck for years!

In this stuckness, a certain page is still being read from an old chapter of your life - over and over again. Perhaps you don't even notice how it affects you in the present. Or, if you do recognize the past's influence, you may believe there is nothing left to do. The state of noncompletion can become normal. Lingering feelings, stories, or negative expectations can become familiar, even comfortable - like old shoes! This card encourages you to say "goodbye" to all those old shoes. Realize that they no longer carry you forward in life today.

What are you sensitive about in a relationship? What seems to make you react? What familiar stories about relating do you tell yourself, over and over again? How might any of these be associated with things left unresolved in your past? It may be time to look at a past event or relationship that continues to simmer deep in your gut. This may even include an issue with your present partner that was never fully resolved in the past and still affects you now.

The card COMPLETION invites you to finally say what you needed to communicate but never said, do what you never did, release and let go, forgive others and yourself, or even say "goodbye." It doesn't matter whether the other person is still living or if you can make actual contact with them - because completion happens entirely within you!

Try writing a letter, perhaps one not to be mailed. Write all you need to say to this other person. Explore every feeling you had then and have now - especially feelings you avoid! Include anger, fear, hurt, sadness, sorrow, regrets, what you hoped for, wanted, needed - and what you want, need, and intend for your life now. Cover each of these feelings.

Whether or not you write it down, feel each feeling fully and finally - to its depths. Open your heart to experience feelings you may have been pushing away for years. The point is to get in touch with old, stuck feelings and move through them - once and for all. Then, having achieved a state of emotional completion within yourself, choose what to do with the letter - or what to actually say to the other person, if that is still an option.

When an old story is finally done, you can turn to a fresh blank page and begin the next chapter of your life. You will be more ready and available to live life to its fullest!

Read someone's blog and cried.

Hey girl, I know it's hard and I know things aren't going great. Breaks my heart to see you like that but nonetheless, I am very proud of you, for your strength and your magnanimity. You are truly amazing, doesn't matter if he made you that, because you are befitting of it. You deserve so much more. So much more.. May not have known you for a long time but counting you as one of my friends has been a privilege. Things may be a little rough now but hang in there alright? Let Him be your guide. He will lead you to happier, better things. Things you deserve. Remember, good things are always worth the wait, and your turn will come soon. Hang in there babe! Big HUGS!

The fraud? SMS AC 

Anyways, courtesy of Fen... Am so glad I didn't sign up for it after I decided it was probably a scam to cheat our 50cents. I am glad I chose to be a cheapskate at that point in time. =D he attachment of the mobile phone bill is posted below/above. Hope you guys didn't sign up for it.

Quote:
Subject: sms.ac is a fraud!!! Advising u all not to sign up for sms services provided by companies in the papers or internet. These companies supposedly provide free sms services when u register ur hp number on their website. You will be given some free sms but they will put u into 'international sms club' and u'll receive sms from unknown friends.Each sms will cost RM$5 and u'll receive 4-5 sms a day. The guy got a hp billof 100-200 bucks. His telco wasnt able to help him. I just went to the website. Read thru several pages. U will be signed up for sms clubs based on the preferences u chose at thestart. They sign up for u. You have to pay for all sms u RECEIVE. Reply "txt OK" to 77877 to activate withSMS.ac & receive free msg's. Reply is FREE + normal carrier rate. Sx0.55/msg. Guess its some kind of chat group, that scamspeople. How do I delete my account? If you wish to delete your account, go to the"myAccount" page, and click on Delete your account" in the AccountInformation section. You will be required to enter your email address, SMS ID, andpassword. You may also add any comments, and tell us why you are choosing todelete your account. If you delete your account, any Messages you havepurchased will be forfeited. DO THIS FAST BEFORE YOU INCURRED LOTS OF SMSCHARGES! PLS FORWARD THESE TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS AS ALOT OFPEOPLE HAVE SIGNED UP FOR THIS SERVICE RECENTLY.

Finnnaaallllyyy caught King Arthur today. Bleah. Happy. Watched it with Andy. Thank goodness for DAoC. Else I'd be lost. Haha. Who says gaming is a waste of time?! Haha.

Today was pretty horrible until I met Andy. Had a bad hairday. ALmost fell in the bus after I missed the high step that partitions the front seats + standing area and the back seats. Hit my ring finger against the metal pole when I was trying to secure a foothold in order to look graceful "like I didn't fall" but failed miserably. Was crossing the road to get to the other side of the road near his workplace when I once again missed a step and my ankle just got bent like it wasn't suppose to. One of the 101 things your body was never meant to do.

Grr anw... Gave tuition before that. Qiuyan has somewhat an attitude problem.. Got slightly irritated with her a little.. Bribed her with stickers and she seemed to like me a little more afterwards. Went to his workplace to wait for him. Didn't want to walk around at PS looking like someone who ran away from the madhouse. Decided it was wiser to let people have a peace of mind seeing me with a madhouse 'guard' to keep me at bay. Read a little while waiting. Went to get Roti boy.. WAHHH that thing is uber... FANTASTIC! Very fattening though. Tried one.. It's basically a crispy bun-bread that has a melted butter filling. The 'crust' is sweet and 'crispy'. Have to try it before you know what it's like. Very hard to describe. WAH WAH WAH is the only way I can describe it. WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH!! I wanna eat it again....!! Very nice.. Hee.. But very fattening also.. WAHAHA. But it's damn good... I like.. Yummieee........!!

Went to PS afterwards. Walked and slacked. Missed being out with him without a care for the world. No deadlines, no rushing, no other commitments.. just the two of us walking aimlessly. Haha. Nice feeling. Had dinner at KFC. Probably choked another few arteries after Rotiboy and KFC but who caresssss! Yummieee.. Nacho and cheese, and jelly for movie snacks.. Yummieee...

King Arthur was pretty interesting.. Hehe. The only reason why I could related to it is probably because of DAoC. DAoC's servers are named after those knights.. Haha.. interesting to hear familiar names.. haha and places. :) It's our thing and I'm caugth we were able to watch it together as a couple. Afetrall, it was because of DAoC that we met! :) Kiera Knightly is gorgeous still but I just dont get why she ahs to wear that masking tape top for that last battle.. it's sooo ugly. And she looks like a vampire when she was killing.. Scary. I like Bors most! He's such a loyal friend!! Pretty touching lah.

Okie gonna sleep. Got tuition at Jac's tomorrow. He's gonna be busy. Hugs. Proud of you. Night everyone.. Hugs Beeyan. Difficult time? Hope all will be well soon. WIll be here is you need a listening ear k? Muacks. Worried about you. Hugs.

Arrrrrrghhhhh! I need to rebond soon. My hair is a mess!! The fringe makes my barely there curls look horrorible. Walking hair disaster! Bah!

Muaaaaaaaah muaaaaaah!!! You are so cute!!! =D So silllyyyyy! *MUAcks*

A peek at a day in a guy's life. HAHAHA! 

Just when I thought my day couldn't be any better, I am getting fricking nosebleeds. Great. It's hate-myself day. I am miserable again. I am depressed again. Crap. I should quit whining and get a life. I try too hard. I seriously don't get myself sometimes. I whine too much for my own good. Off to cry and feel better. Good night all. Crying is a habit nowadays it seems. Don't ask me why. I have no fricking idea. Should dub crying as the most favourite pasttime.

Bleeding
Burnt
Swollen
Exhausted
What good am I.