She tactlessly muttered the cursed word today. Not part of the deal. Left me dumbfounded and afraid. And as a result, I brought home solitude.

I hurt both ways today. Outside and inside. But what is inside I cannot show. It's something the painkillers cannot take away.

I laughed and smiled alot today. But only I truly know what they mean. Only I truly know how it feels like when I laughed and smiled.. Only I truly know.

I feel depressed. I feel afraid. I feel alone. Am I being punished?

Come tomorrow, it's time to don that mask and face the world. And come tomorrow, I will laugh louder and smile wider. Only I know myself best.

Life makes a mockery out of you sometimes. How dishonest.

It hurts. Good night.

Thought about plenty of stuff last night. Thought of the many people in my life. I don't know why, but I just did. Thought of what each and every one of them meant to me. Thought of how precious the memories meant to me. Thought about the things I wish to say to each and every one of them. And finally, I fell asleep on my tear-soaked pillow..

Plagued by bad dreams all night long. In fact, I've been having nightmares for the past few nights. I don't know why either. Spent part of today writing.. writing.. writing.. Just felt that I should.. Just felt that I should.. But I hope I don't use them. Oh well, contradicting myself again. Don't wanna leave it to chance. Argh. I don't know. All messed up.

Life is too short to wait for a tomorrow to come.

Pretending I'm not scared.

***

Your boss comes to you and asks you this question: "So how you do like it here?"

In you head, you think: "I hate it here, the coffee sucks, you are a slave-driver, I'm working with a bunch of bitchy colleagues, no one is ever helpful, I have to water your plants, I barely see daylight before and after I leave the office and even the coffeelady bullies me! If I were a millionaire, I would throw that awful coffee in your face and walk straight out of the office!"

But instead, you blurt out: "I love it here. The colleagues are wonderful and they are a fun bunch to work with. I love the challenge and I feel I can learn so much from you." with a warm smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye.

We are such an automated species don't you think? How ironic.

Today I finally realised that perhaps the so-called solution to my so-called problem may not be a one off thing. It might be just part one of X parts. Shit. How naive. How simple-minded. Decoding past information and it's starting to sound really really freakish. Can someone just kill me?

I think I have come to a conclusion. Somewhat irresponsible one but I guess that will do for the time being. After quality counts, not quantity. Maybe maybe..

Starting to feel afraid. Who am I kidding?

Sometimes its a chore to be strong dont you think? What makes you think you are better off weak?

Lousy night. Be thankful you are alive.

The silence is deafening. What are those sobs you hear?

If I fall, will you hold me in your arms and whisper my name one last time? Let me see the rainbow before I close those eyes.

Perfectly alright to cry. Perfectly alright, right?

Is this why I don't have visions? Is this why I never ask what I am going to be when I grow up? Maybe this is why?

If You take me, take me gently into Your arms with a smile in my face and a laughter in my heart.

I should sleep.

Hey Babe, I love You. Thank you for being the sweetest person ever :) 

Had quite a great time yesterday! Received a phonecall which warmed my heart as well.

Someone finally finished his reservist. Weehee. But school's starting though. Pooi. Hao will be back tomorrow. Yay!

Went Dbl O and Obar last night. Finally got to wear my new top! Someone commented it looked like lingerie some time ago -_-! But I guess it looks quite OK at night. Happy happy.

Obar was hot! I mean not happening-hot but warm-hot! Went to join Merv for his NTU Hall bash thingie. Crowded.. full of young people and really warm. Was sweating buckets with the dancing. In between we went up to Dbl O but we were mostly at Obar. The guys threw us there all alone to fend for ourselves. *Sob* Learnt that 1.5 jugs, less than 2 jugs to myself is the desired level of alcohol consumption. A little high enough to let loose and dance but enables me to be fully aware exactly what is going on around me.

Some persistent idiot bruised my waist. Kept grabbing and pulling me back whenever I moved away. Sleazeball. Pfft. Call you? Wait long long. Some psycho almost made me pee in my pants when he came up from behind my ear and wanted to get us drinks. Luckily we were going to leave to find Jer. He looked high and horny. Actually he looked drugged and constipated as well.

That silly boy is such a dear. Today Beeyan was talking to me about him. He's such a sweetheart. Even yesterday, he didn't complain at all when we made him wait for us while we left Obar and went to club for the last half hour at Dbl O. When we saw him, he didn't look the least bit angry and he still comically related some fighting incident that was taking place there at that time. Haha, also found out when he called me today that last night he tried to 'rescue' me from that sleazeball by going to the toilet (?) and calling me. Dood, didn't know leh.. Can't hear you, haha. Didn't know also. Next time I give you permission to march in and take me away k? Haha. Nonetheless, you were such a gallant person!

Just so glad to know him. He's such a sweet person and thoughtful person! Can you imagine, a guy, havent received your sms after you got home (may 10 or so minutes?) and calls you immediately to ask if you are home? Even though he dropped you off at your place? So sweet right! But these days a bit naggy with the drinking and the op thing but I really do appreciate it! You zee best la brudder :) Don't smoke so much la. Haha.

Just wished the guys are back home with us. Pooh.. :(

Blog more again when I'm free!

Taaaaaa!

Got to wear my new top! Too bad can't see the full thing. Arms too short to stretch out for the cam to capture anything beyond this. Haha. 

It's funny how people take things for granted when it is in excess. You often assume everything lasts for forever. That the flowers will forever be blooming, and that life will never cease. I am not someone who fears death. In fact, friends who know me knows I joke about death at random. Morbid humour is one of the things that come with this package called Huiqing.

There was a period in my life I am not proud of. Times when I delibrately take my life lightly, not because I want to, but because I didn't know how else to get his attention. Times like those. I am just lost. It's very wrong, so wrong, but I guess I just didn't how else to cry for help. Too afraid to tell point blank. And they say action speaks louder than words. Wrong actions though. Oh well. Guess that action is the only way I can think of at that point in that that screams 'Hear me out!'. At least that's what I hear myself say at that point in time.

There are times when I feel life isn't worth living. But more often than not. I always remind myself that the only person in this world who has the right to take my life is my mother. Afterall, she was the one who gave me life. She ate like a pig to provide me with enough nutrition, grew fat so I can grow fat in her, carried me for 9 months, went for a C-section before my tiny body came out of her. She constructed me quite from scratch literally. So she's granted that right. My dad played a role, but no, he doesn't have the right to take my life away since that role is just really tiny :P

I don't fear death. Everyone dies eventually. It's just a matter of how you die. Actually I am rather irresponsible. I would rather die before everyone. Someone I cannot bear to stand witnessing the death of a loved one. Be it family or friends. Attending a loved one's wake is agonizing. Bearing that loss for the rest of your life is a pain I don't wish to experience. I think so far, I only had a change of mind with regards to that perspective once. But that is history. Maybe that is why if I ever take my own life, I wouldn't pick the worst choice - jumping off buildings. That impact is too ugly. I am too vain to die in that manner. I wanna be a beautiful spirit. Haha.

So you can imagine the shock on my mother's face today when joked to her (was trying to lighten up the mood, failed pathetically) when I said," Mummy nevermind la, if I die then no one will be naughty to make you angry next time." complete with a grin. Not funny. Her pained expression tells it all. All she did was slap my thigh and told me not to be silly. Maybe she thought I was scared. Actually to be honest. I wasn't. If I die, I wouldn't feel anything afterwards. So nothing to fear with regards to that. I was worried more about the scarring and how unbeautiful I might become. Haha. Joking. I am worried about the pain. And upset that once again, I made my mother jittery.

On the other hand. She was evil today. She laughed out loud when I went for my blood test. I am terrified of injections. And when I am scared, I do funny things. Literally. I must have looked like a 3 year old for her to laugh when the lady filled up that tube with my blood. Ulitmate disgrace.

So anyway, optimism didn't pay off. Better to be pessimistic. Thought nothing would go wrong and now, wham, Murphy's Law.

T suspected. No time for guesses, so op's fixed for next week. Doc wanted it today but thank goodness I drank water before I came out. Wee! That gives me some time to prepare myself.

Wish me luck. Hope the scarring is minimal. :P

Tired.. Managed 10 hours plus in bed but didn't sleep well. Thought over plenty of stuff. Reflected on my inability to handle conflict. When will I ever grow up? When will I ever find that ability? Realised much of what I do is applied direct from TV. Too much pride, too scornful, too idealistic. Trying too hard to fit into the norm.

Thought of the stuff that happened when I was younger. The kind of person I was in relationships, how cold and unfeeling I can be then and how I lived through the period without learning anything. I don't know.

Maybe I'll blog about it later. Tired now.

Edwin Mccain - I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

Been sleeping for more than ten hours each day these days. Sigh. So unhealthy!

Anyway I had the strangest dream last night. Quite scary as well! I dreamt I was shot (Multiple times!!!!) by a machine gun on my shoulder and my back. Can't remember how it went but it was something like I was with someone can't remember who and we were on a plane hiding from some people. We were brought to Toronto (Don't ask me why!) and that place looks quite different from what I had imagined it to be. It looked very 3rd world. So anyways, at the airport, some ulu corner, we were intercepted by this big-sized machine-gun wielding guy.Like Rambo. So anyways, after we walked off, I heard a series of "Ra ta ta ta ta" and he shot me from the back a few times! The blood felt warm against my back and I remember I held my shoulder as I ran away. Could touch the bullet and it felt warm. And I remembered I didn't dare look at my hands because I was afraid I would acknowledge that I am losing too much blood.

Next scene was with some of my secondary school classmates. Was out with some people, can't remember who and met up with this guy called Brian from my class. And his name became Az Mi Mi Mi or something like that. Very strange name. And then we went to some fellow's house to party. We were eating BBQ chicken wings (My hands were oily then) and there were lots of people. And they converted a jacuzzi into a sink -_-!!!

And then I woke up. My dream very exciting hor. Got plot, got pain, got oily chicken wings. I lead two lives. Haha. One when I am awake. The other when I am asleep.

Hur hur. Oh well, now I know (a little) as to how it feels like when one is shot. Haha. Oh well.

K time to go get lunch and prep. Yawn. Updates maybe later.

Anyway off topic a bit.. I just realised Rambo sounds like Rainbow. Hmm.. Nevermind. My brain deviated again.

Okie. Adios!

Deceitful little world that we're living in.

What is the world coming to?

Entangled in a web of lies.

Ever looked at the person next to you, closest to you, and wondered how much of his soul he's willing to bare to you?

Ever wondered if the friend you grew up with has the same amount of integrity that came promised with the friendship?

Ever felt like you are just part of a game, and you are just a pawn?

Ever thought that you were a somebody, but now realised you were actually just a piece of unscrambled puzzle?

Ever felt jaded about the world around you, that you become resigned to life?

Ever been disappointed in your fellow beings?

Ever wished you had the courage to retort the lies but afraid it isn't the case?

Ever had faith in absolutely nothing at all?

***

The NFK probe is getting really scandalous. I wonder how deceitful people ever sleep at night. Liar liar pants on fire. I'm hellava sure their pants will go boom they moment they reach Hell.

Life's proving to be quite boring. Someone's at reservist, which means I only get disturbed/can disturb someone at night when he's bored (Thanks hor. Bored liao then will think of me and call me $%^& but it's ok, I am bored too. Waahhaha!) Nevermind, hopefully Sat we can do what we planned to do. Hopefully. The others are busy poking each other's backside in the day. Haha.

Oh ya, thanks didi for calling me last night :) Great hearing your voice as well as Tween's!! Must come back ok. After that we go party! And please send me those pictures and vids soon! Hehe. :)

My mouth is full of ulcers and I am coughing badly as well. Ate too much cookies and a tad too much rubbish. Tongue got cut by candies. So lotsa 'bubbles' on them. Sucks. Hope my ulcers heal up quickly. Hard to talk like this! Not to mention, it hurts quite badly when I eat/talk/yawn/open/move my mouth!

Tomorrow's the ultrasound. Not sure what's gonna happen or how it's gonna be. In a weird way, I am a little excited. But yet, part of me is afraid. Afraid of what is installed for me. I'm never ready for such things. Oh well.

By the way anyone seen the new Backstreet Boys? Nick Carter is getting fat fat fat. Can't differentiate his chin from his neck! Hehehe. Hooked on their new song, Incomplete. Easy to sing along to! Haha :)

Ok, gonna go read then sleep. Good night and before I sign off, here's the song I am so into right now. Yea yea, I am a boyband worshipper!

Over and out!

Backstreet Boys - Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Pinky me yesterday! I love pink! Why does my hair look so fine in still pictures, but an absolute crap when in motion! Haha. 

Photowhoring in action again! Pretty necklace that I had over 2-3 years and have yet to wear! 

Yeap, so two Saturdays ago, was at our Sentosa hotel trip! Hehe, we really can't act the beach babe part since most of us can't really take heat! Haha. Was fun! A pity Winnie couldn't stay overnight! We bitched loads and snacked and played silly games. Haha. And of course, there was this stupid partying event going on at the Musical Fountain that kept us awake with their music till 6 blardie am!

No doubt, it was fun! Love bonding with my lovelies! Awesome trip!

I'll let the pictures do the talking ya? :)

Two saturdays ago, to celebrate our dearest Fen's birthday, we went to Sentosa! My lovely blowing out her candle! 

The huge room! 

The bathroom with the jacuzzi! 

Photowhoring in the room! Fen and I! 

Met Mr Squirrel on my way to the beach. Kawaii neh! Why Mr? Go figure :P 

Grabbing onto the pole for my dear life! Had to sit sideways cause I was wearing a skirt. Heh. 

Weee~ Scary but fun la. Haha. 

Messed up hair with beeyan! 

My lovelies! 

Sun slowly setting.. Was amazing... 

Gorgeous, don't you think? :) 

With my lovelies at the beach, the sun was setting, was beautiful! 

Winnie and I at Sakae 

Ended the evening in the beach with a major pigout session! 

Natasha, my friend's little princess! Such a dear! Kept wanting me to carry her! She's grown up! Carried her around for like 15 minutes and oh man, I wonder how her mother does it on a daily basis. Aching arms! 

Of Alcohol, Lame jokes, Changi, Geylang, Sentosa and Fright Night.

Thanks everyone for the concern. Don't worry about me, I m fine. :) For now. Hee. Alochol makes me a happy person. I heart alcohol. Hic.

Teeheehee. Woozie. Was scared, amused, spaced out, and most of all I had fun.

Alcohol in my blood spells HAPPY. Cheer in my life spells bliss.

Eh, help me thank you cousin for the ride home. I think hes hilarious in a weird way. Thank him for freaking us out. Jitters jitters. And sorry ah, can't accompany you to sleep tonight. I need my bed la. Your bed will not do. And I am not that evil. You need a bed too. May he keep you warm and tight. Don't gay too much ya. Wahaha. After reservist we go chiong k. I need alcohol in my blood (again) and I need the dance floor. Whatever. Alcohol spells happy. Happy I am now.

Happy girl needs to sleep. Lots of firsts times in my life tonight. What an adventure. Ohmigosh.

Muacks girl. Thanks for being there too, I hope you enjoyed yourself! :)

Happy woozie girl needs to knock out. Happy girl needs to keep the alcohol in. Happy girl needs to snooze.

Happy night. *hic* Hic hic. Hic.

Don't fucking JUDGE me!

"Wow. You actually know how to love someone? I thought you only knew how to break hearts. Aren't you suppose to be one heartless bitch? Remember how you broke mine without mercy. Retribution I tell you. Break somemore lor. See this is what happens."

Fuck you! Yes, maybe it was retribution. Maybe they were lies and maybe they were excuses. But that doesn't give you the fucking right to march in and judge me. True, I didn't know how to love. But at least I fucking tried my fucking best. Fine, I didn't know how to, I can only pretend to me an actor and act out those roles because I don't fucking know what is the best. But don't fucking judge me. I didn't fucking break your fucking heart. In the first place we weren't even in that place for me to fucking break it. I remember clearly that I declined your invitation to be your girlfriend. I didn't fucking break you fucking heart. But knowing now, Maybe I should've broken your fucking heart since you insisted on it. Two wrongs make a right, right?

Yes, maybe it was bad karma, maybe I deserved this. But who are you to fucking tell me this? It's been years, can't you fucking move on? We didn't even started a relationship damn it! Why the fuck are you comparing? And fuck it, I didn't even bother explaining cause I know it would be a waste of my time. But need you come to me with a motive? Fuck you, what do you want from me? WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME fuckit!!!

Yes, I was probably a heartless bitch. Maybe I still am. But one thing I am sure is that I don't need a heart to handle a guy like you. Don't fucking judge me. At the fucking least, I didn't fucking toy with you. I approached you with honesty. So don't fucking bite me in the ass and say otherwise. Would you prefer me to approach you with a devious ploy to break you down totally? So don't fucking say I only knew how to break hearts!!

Yes, I didn't give you that chance. Don't fucking say you deserve it when you fucking don't. Go fucking recall those fucking things you said after that! Been years and I thought you grew up. But fucking NO! Shouldn't have fucking switched my ICQ. Yes, perhaps I deserve this, but don't fucking tell me I do. Don't fucking lecture me just because you think you know my past. Don't fucking think I am heartless just because it happened to you. Don't fucking relate other people's experiences just because you THINK you know more. You don't know anything at all. Don't fucking assume! Don't fucking pepper your words with 'intentions' that you 'cared', which fucking line indicated that?! You are just waiting to see how I would break down and cry! Cry I would, but get this straight, it will NEVER be for you. A lowlife like you will NEVER be the reason to my tears fall.

Yes, I made many mistakes in the past. None of which I am proud of. I have many skeletons in my closet. And you are one of the skeletons I wished I crushed and cleared out. BUT AGAIN, that doesn't give you the right to FUCKING JUDGE ME. I am fucking learning. Yes, I suck at this, but at least I am learning. I still am. Don't fucking think I willed this. Don't fucking reason with me about that. I am not the person you used to know. In fact, did you EVER try to know me? You exited the moment you lost. If you can't get her, hate her tactic? So don't fucking BULLSHIT to me.

TAURUS WOMAN

A slim moderately tall woman. Taurus woman is funny and a jolly person. Square facial bone structure, high cheekbone. Her round big eyes sparkle with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and mainly she will have a strong jaw line.

She is a constantly change person. If she up sets, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and completely stranger to her.

She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk meeting, long and endless conversation.

She can be in love with you today, and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before. She has patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit.

Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living. She has more satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine cloths and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance, then you are dating the wrong girl. You cannot tell her to stay at home, she likes to work and preferred not work at home.

She loves animals and likes to surround by animals. Love is in her head, but Freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any other women.

She will be honest to her love one, but at the same time seems distant. You will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes out swinging with her friends if she wants to. She will be different than other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality.

She is a public figure but belongs to no one. She will not stay with you, if she thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better not to compete with her. Loves her, but not too much for she afraid it will limiting her freedom.

She always stand out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress like a nun in a cocktail dress party. If you are a politician who is looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart and she could get along socially with any type of crowds.

She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more. Even when she is dating you, she is also able to be fond of someone else, if you do not have something she is looking for.

She will never disappoint you or hide behind your back to make you loose face, but she is the type who just going to tell you to your face that " We're better off breaking up".

She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she thinks of something, she will go ahead and does it. She has many men wanting her for her constant changes is the challenge. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough.

She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else.

She likes to learn about your dreams and your thought. She has fun teasing you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won't hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates to owe people money and take promise seriously. If you promise to pay her back, you'd better paid up.

If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, do not be narrow minded, do not criticize about nonsense or small and insignificant matters. Try to likes her friends and let she has her privacy, then she can be very sweet to you.

I find this so true. Haha. So those who owe me stuff, and promised to return, better do so ah! Haha.

Meaningful! Hope you girls and and guys will experience this! It's an amazing feeling!

...

The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he love you. He only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one.

The guy who loves you, although he always make you mad, but whatever he have done is for your own good.

The guy who loves you, seldom praise you. But in his heart, you are the best. Only he know it.

The guy who loves you, will scold or complain if you didn't reply his messages or answer his calls because he cares for you.

The guy who loves you , only drop his tears in front of you. When you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beats for you.

The guy who loves you , will remember every word you said , even if its accidentally. And he will use the word always at the nick of time.

The guy who loves you, will not give any promises that easily because he don't want to break the promise. He want you to believe him and give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

The guy who loves you, always tell you not to think too much, because he have already plan it for you. He want to give you the best life in the future. He want to give you a surprise, believing that he can do it.

The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember those special occasions like anniversary, but he do know that, every second he live, he's loving you, no matter what day is it.

The guy who loves you, won't said " I love you" that easily, because everything he have done for you is showing that he love you already. He will only tell the word at the special situation because he dun wan you to misunderstand. He want you to know that he really love you.

The guy who really loves you, will feel that sometimes certain things only have to say once because he thought that you might already understand him. If talk so much, he will feel that there's nothing you will cherish.

The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you but he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. He will carry your luggage and ask you " Why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.

The guy who loves you, will listen quietly to you when you are mad. When you have finished, he will say " You still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier." with a smile.

The guy who loves you, don't know whether he should call you when you are angry but he will send a message to you after few hours. If you ask him why he called that late, he will say "When you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works."

The guy who loves you, always treat you like a little girl. But everytime he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.

The guy who loves you, don't like little toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.

The guy who loves you, while quarrelling, he will apologize although you are the one who's wrong. But later, he will say " Baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it urself."

The guy who loves you, seldom say sweet words. But you know, his kisses have already transfer all his passion to you.

The guy who loves you , if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy so that he will not have any time to think of you. Because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you.

6 pages plus of these in my friendster messages.

hilo... care to b frz?? can i add u in my frztsr list n do u have msn?? hmm... i think u look pretty n cool... really hope to b frz wif u.. cya soon

Guys should learn to spell and downplay the act-cute part! You are only cute when I like you enough. Else you will look immature to the audience.

and this

Dear hwee ching @}--}------- ,Hi guess u know little about mi though. I was born in SG educated here and luv Artz alot, however even though made it into Nanyang Fine Arts, but sad to say nvr able to kick started there due to some reasons. Haiz well, i am kinda open abt everything coz' life need to learn how to accept things as they are though. Got into technicial line many yrs ago, still in there but then still active in design/music and even artzs.spend 3yrs in states 98-2001 work cum study.Back here for good. Came to know abt this site thru'friends as they know i am seriously looking for a good soul-mates for longtime companionship, frankly speaking, i dun really haf much for relatioship coz' being travelling here n there pretty often but guess now this lonely seagull need to find its warm nest wif his partner....?! Hmm....u might find it weird reading this mail as it makes mi sound like a damn desparate guy haunting for his prey.(buhahaha) Nah, not really though, all/most friends left me(either all attached or married) and i hardly go anywhere to chill out so social circle actually got smaller, i really sinerely wish we can be friends like able to chillout together, talk over fone, share bit and bits of life and even able to share each others' joy and sorrow. Hmm...pls dun feel awkwards abt it as i guess we are all mature ppl rite??? I am a very easy going wif abit of humour in mi though. Those who knows me will always missed my laugher... Friendster is a damn cool place to know ppl but then a bad point it is that ppl haf to really wait days to chat or ratherrecieved and reply mail from friends that gets mi crazy. A chat room here be better, rite? Anyway,I am here to ask for ur mercy to spare me from waiting for answers....CAN WE contact each other in other ways like fone, ICQ or something???Kinda igorning in here to speak each other, well here is my cell fone number if u dun mind having it (H/P)9028xxxx also my (ICQ)4591xxxx add me @ alvinomexico@yahoo.com this is becoz' I thinkif we can chat online or rather thru' fone will be cool guess that is better and faster way to know each other better. yeah? Hmm...its fine if u dun feel like it, no worries coz' thts only how i feel though. I am sure meeting up for coffee or high tea is fine rite...(guess tht takes abit of time-huh?)better to know each other abit longeri guess. Unfortunately, I haf to leave for states again next yr, Haiiiizzz, hope this waiting game able to end b4 i leave man. Kiddin' ok. nvr too late.... Quote of the day "To Be Old And Wise,FIRST we have to be Young And stupid"...........LIFE IS A LEARNING PROGRESS isn't it true??? Ok, cool...have been toking lot, guess u r sick of mi..longwinded?! So u TAKE CARE and haf a good weekend and week ahead. God bless u ger. Always there Adios Amigo,Alvino

Yeah, I do think he's some weird desperate guy hunting for his prey. And he seems to be conversing with an imaginery friend. He seemed to have 'our future' mapped out. Very systematic hor?And his quote.. -_-" I hope he doesn't live by that. Else he's so gone. Edited his number in case. Haha, else later anything happen to him I'm gonna be in police file. Haha.

Another one with imaginery friend

shawn jeff pinto here working as a project consultant for PWC..... still working as i am typing this .. haha just bill the client shawn.... emmmm... been here 7 months ... nice office great view... weather wise still adjusting.... colleagues a little stiff.... too serious at work..... well ,, the ladies are ok pretty friendly... emmmm wat else shawn wat else shawn..... write WRITE WRITE or type anything at least she's reading.... got a call er thanks for reading... night..... tell me about yourself yeh... bye

O so amused.

And I am so bored! Updates later about my awesome weekend! If I'm not lazy that is! Haha.

Over and Out!

Temptress anyone? 

I am bored. Nothing to blog. So posting up my sunshiney smile! 

Taadaa!  

Your Birthdate: May 5

With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.

You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.

A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility

Hmm.. Haha.